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Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML

#19387576
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21638) - you deserved it (2958)

On 04/01/2012 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML

#20661106
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47380) - you deserved it (2958)

On 05/13/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by culodegrillo (woman) - Spain

Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML

#6532401
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37808) - you deserved it (2957)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture. In the mirror I could see a bra and thong sitting on his bed. They weren't mine. FML

#19196280
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37838) - you deserved it (2957)

On 03/01/2012 at 3:39pm - love - by eeelise5296 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that two kids were able to, without much effort, convince my 16-year-old daughter that her friend's house was used to smuggle out Jews during WWII. His house was built in 2007. We also live in America. FML

#20033419
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23666) - you deserved it (2957)

On 08/21/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States

Today, my demented asswipe of a lab partner thought it'd be funny to replace the birthday gift I bought for my girlfriend with the large intestine of a recently-dissected dog. My girlfriend nearly fainted when she opened the gift box, and accused me of planning the whole thing. FML

#20752461
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43279) - you deserved it (2957)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, after a few weeks of my dad setting up glue traps in the garage to trap mice, I found out what it's like to have a pigeon wander in and get its foot stuck on one. FML

Today, my date sent me a text saying "I'm sorry we're running late, we will be there shortly." I replied asking what she meant by "we". She said her parents, who were coming along to chaperone. I laughed about two 27 year olds having chaperones, until she walked in with her parents. FML

#6258074
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34636) - you deserved it (2956)

On 11/11/2009 at 1:53pm - love - by Tragics (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my mom gave me my Christmas gift. It was a letter containing $200 and a note saying, "Here's the down payment for your apartment, please just move out already." I turned 18 last week. Thanks mom. FML

#14331455
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25070) - you deserved it (2956)

On 12/25/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, our electric horse fence broke. I turned it off so I could fix it. As I was grabbing the fence, my brother thought it would be hilarious to turn the fence back on. FML

#17766794
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27743) - you deserved it (2956)

On 09/17/2011 at 7:42pm - animals - by ouch (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to listen to fellow classmates whine about selling one of their many houses, while I can barely afford to pay for a $100 textbook. FML

#20987288
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42663) - you deserved it (2956)

On 12/10/2013 at 1:04am - money - by thefifthdoctor - United States (Washington)

Today, at my grandparent's funeral, we were waiting for the pastor. He was fashionably late because he couldn't find his sunglasses and had gone to buy new ones. FML

#21194487
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39531) - you deserved it (2956)

On 06/30/2014 at 11:59pm - misc - by too cool (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML

#3500742
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43372) - you deserved it (2955)

On 07/05/2009 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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