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Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML

#8285725
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20552) - you deserved it (2858)

On 02/15/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by MisterBrown (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my younger brother called me saying he's getting married. Now, I have to attend my ex's wedding. I'm the best man. FML

#14240691
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36132) - you deserved it (2858)

On 12/17/2010 at 10:07pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML

#12376475
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41090) - you deserved it (2858)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I got into my car and realised that my CDs were no longer in my glove box. According to the police, the random key code for my car type has been cracked, and thieves can now let themselves in whenever they want. The manufacturer says they can't do anything about it. FML

#13158872
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29590) - you deserved it (2858)

On 09/22/2010 at 5:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I covered for my friend at work because he said he was having car troubles and was going to be late. Two hours into the shift, I got a call from my roommate asking why my girlfriend had moved out. Turns out, I'd covered my friend's shift so he could help my girlfriend move out behind my back. FML

#4173235
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44605) - you deserved it (2857)

On 07/30/2009 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I applied for a job as a dishwasher. I was denied because I don't have enough experience. FML

#17903490
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28694) - you deserved it (2857)

On 10/04/2011 at 12:18pm - work - by SimpleSwimmer - United States (California)

Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML

#18474443
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22985) - you deserved it (2857)

On 12/10/2011 at 5:14am - misc - by dee - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42020) - you deserved it (2857)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, while I was looking for a file on my boyfriend's hard drive, I came across photos of a half-naked woman wearing my clothes, but whose head wasn't really visible. When I demanded an explanation, I realised that it wasn't another girl - it was him. FML

#581
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29414) - you deserved it (2856)

On 12/23/2008 at 11:11pm - love - by Lililaloose - Sent from mobile version

Today, I offered to drive my girlfriend's grandpa to the doctor. I thus learned my girlfriend's grandfather has a colostomy bag when it burst all over the inside of my truck. FML

#16247260
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32305) - you deserved it (2856)

On 05/19/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by John -

Today, my husband, who's a recovering alcoholic, and I are on holiday with our kids. He's decided he can have a few drinks because he deserves "a holiday too". He doesn't see why this should ruin ours. FML

Today, I was using a public restroom. As I lowered my pants, a man's head and arms popped out over the divider. He took a picture and immediately rushed out. FML

#20779019
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46479) - you deserved it (2856)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Anna - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML

#20912417
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47744) - you deserved it (2856)

On 10/08/2013 at 12:30pm - misc - by she knows - United States (Hawaii)



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