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Today, it was my 24th birthday. I got a card from my sister reading: "Here's to another year of complete disregard for age-appropriate developmental milestones." She was right. FML

#1490
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13815) - you deserved it (3005)

On 01/17/2009 at 7:04pm - misc - by nothreat33 - United States (Maryland)

Today, my navy boyfriend, who's stationed in Italy, calls me to say he is in San Francisco and is coming to see me. After scrambling to get ready, he calls me back to say he doesn't recognize the train station. After searching on Google Maps, it becomes clear he's drunk at Oktoberfest. In Germany. FML

#5438718
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41725) - you deserved it (3005)

On 09/23/2009 at 10:47pm - love - by Spatch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that all the things I've lent to my best friend over the last few years that have never been returned were actually pawned off so she could pay her cable bill. FML

#19395452
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24480) - you deserved it (3005)

On 04/02/2012 at 2:44pm - money - by Kelly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was very cold and tired, so I took a shower to warm up and went to bed. The minute I hopped into bed, it collapsed and broke. I have spent half-an-hour rearranging furniture to get the mattress on to the floor. Now I'm cold again. FML

#19173617
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22284) - you deserved it (3005)

On 02/27/2012 at 7:36am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realized I've been acting very paranoid lately. I was mugged a few weeks ago, so I've been nervous. I've been holding my hands in my pockets and looking around on my way outside from work. Apparently, that's grounds to arrest someone under suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon. FML

#5773283
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33568) - you deserved it (3004)

On 10/11/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by PackingSpaceHeat (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother, who religiously checks her bank account after every purchase, then shreds her receipts, got fed up with me not doing the same. So she shredded all my piled up receipts. These include the 100s of dollars I had spent for my work, which I need the receipts to get reimbursed for. FML

#5745365
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41099) - you deserved it (3004)

On 10/09/2009 at 7:22pm - money - by poorman (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML

#17337129
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34969) - you deserved it (3004)

On 08/01/2011 at 10:46pm - misc - by Username - United States (Missouri)

Today, while walking home I was jumped by two guys, one of whom shouted, "You shouldn't have run your mouth off, Rick!" My name is John. Only after they repeatedly axe-kicked me in the chest did they realize their mistake. It now hurts to breathe. FML

#16838939
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41761) - you deserved it (3004)

On 06/24/2011 at 7:58pm - misc - by John - United States (California)

Today, my cat vomited violently. I can smell it but I can't find it. FML

#18520750
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29408) - you deserved it (3004)

On 12/15/2011 at 4:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML

#2447996
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59922) - you deserved it (3003)

On 05/30/2009 at 10:37pm - love - by anoymus (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finally finished my art project which was worth 50% of my quarterly grade. I came in 1st period to give it to her. When she turned to look at it, her elbow hit her coffee and spilled it all over the canvas. I got 60%. She said I would have had a 100%, except for the giant coffee stain. FML

#6169952
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56417) - you deserved it (3003)

On 11/05/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my grandma has been sending me birthday money every year. My mom just steals it before I ever see it. FML

#16168772
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52774) - you deserved it (3003)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:40am - money - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML

#17641775
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27604) - you deserved it (3003)

On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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