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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, at Subway, the pretty girl serving made me so nervous by that I forgot what cucumbers were called. FML

#21454765
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19560) - you deserved it (3114)

On 08/11/2015 at 12:22pm - misc - by it's awkward - United States (California)

Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML

#107589
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71664) - you deserved it (3112)

On 02/22/2009 at 8:21pm - love - by scotto (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my boyfriend thinks I'm too high maintenance because I have a chronic illness which requires frequent hospitalization. FML

#9059310
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30492) - you deserved it (3112)

On 03/13/2010 at 10:17pm - health - by bobby - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was cutting a little boy's hair at the hairdressers where I work. While cutting his bangs, I noticed his forehead was surprisingly warm. When I asked him if he felt OK, he threw up all over my gown. I think he had some broccoli today. FML

#15830049
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39228) - you deserved it (3112)

On 04/18/2011 at 12:46am - kids - by stickyhair (woman) - United States

Today, I was learning to drive a stick when a cop decided to pull me over just to laugh at me. FML

#19327826
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23593) - you deserved it (3112)

On 03/22/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by Chey - United States (California)

Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML

#19434352
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33939) - you deserved it (3112)

On 04/09/2012 at 1:15am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my high school graduation. Everything was going fine until everyone saw my family fighting over where we would go afterwards. Security had to pull them apart. FML

#20712915
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45203) - you deserved it (3112)

On 06/08/2013 at 1:12am - misc - by congrats grad - United States (California)

Today, we got a new employee at work. I said hi, and told her that if she needed help figuring out our computer system, then to give me a call. She promptly accused me of sexual harassment and filed a complaint against me. FML

Today, I realized that my grandma has pictures of all her grandchildren all over her house, with one glaring exception: me. FML

Today, I was offered a job. It only took me a year and 17 interviews to get an offer, and I have a PhD. FML

#3922
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29079) - you deserved it (3111)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:37am - work - by RogerReady - United States (West Virginia)

Today, at a red light, an old lady crossing the street fell right infront of my car. I got out of my car to help her. The light turned green and I was still helping the woman to her feet. An officer came by and ticketed me for "impeding the flow of traffic." FML

#205743
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72964) - you deserved it (3111)

On 03/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by VroomVroom (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I realised that what I had thought was my dad's default state for the past 17 years is actually his drunken state. FML

#15844310
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28740) - you deserved it (3111)

On 04/19/2011 at 5:50am - misc - by Violet (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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