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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my younger brother called me saying he's getting married. Now, I have to attend my ex's wedding. I'm the best man. FML

#14240691
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36130) - you deserved it (2858)

On 12/17/2010 at 10:07pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. Why? He said his mom didn't want us together anymore. His mom died three years ago. FML

#10594488
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32934) - you deserved it (2858)

On 05/17/2010 at 7:01pm - love - by Babygirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got into my car and realised that my CDs were no longer in my glove box. According to the police, the random key code for my car type has been cracked, and thieves can now let themselves in whenever they want. The manufacturer says they can't do anything about it. FML

#13158872
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29586) - you deserved it (2858)

On 09/22/2010 at 5:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22197) - you deserved it (2858)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML

#1962553
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44073) - you deserved it (2857)

On 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by BigBadTron (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, whilst I was in a corner deli getting snacks, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to drive the car 50m down the street so that I would be confused when I come out... She was picked up by a cop driving without her license and now my car is impounded for 28 days. FML

#5547295
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36449) - you deserved it (2858)

On 09/29/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I covered for my friend at work because he said he was having car troubles and was going to be late. Two hours into the shift, I got a call from my roommate asking why my girlfriend had moved out. Turns out, I'd covered my friend's shift so he could help my girlfriend move out behind my back. FML

#4173235
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44600) - you deserved it (2857)

On 07/30/2009 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I applied for a job as a dishwasher. I was denied because I don't have enough experience. FML

#17903490
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28693) - you deserved it (2857)

On 10/04/2011 at 12:18pm - work - by SimpleSwimmer - United States (California)

Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML

#18474443
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22980) - you deserved it (2858)

On 12/10/2011 at 5:14am - misc - by dee - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42016) - you deserved it (2857)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, while I was looking for a file on my boyfriend's hard drive, I came across photos of a half-naked woman wearing my clothes, but whose head wasn't really visible. When I demanded an explanation, I realised that it wasn't another girl - it was him. FML

#581
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29410) - you deserved it (2856)

On 12/23/2008 at 11:11pm - love - by Lililaloose - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML

#12376475
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41083) - you deserved it (2856)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, my husband, who's a recovering alcoholic, and I are on holiday with our kids. He's decided he can have a few drinks because he deserves "a holiday too". He doesn't see why this should ruin ours. FML



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