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Today, I had to hunt down and collect a stray dog's feces for my parasitology class. FML

#20041168
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20605) - you deserved it (3347)

On 08/25/2012 at 3:11pm - animals - by missTyfied (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

#20007961
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35707) - you deserved it (3347)

On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML

#20561241
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30241) - you deserved it (3347)

On 03/26/2013 at 5:17pm - animals - by whykarma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend and best friend decided to "help" by assembling my new front porch while I was away. Ecstatic, they displayed their handiwork. It's charming how the porch is precariously balanced, it leans in such a way that it appears it will fall over if you walk through the front door. FML

#20876742
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38786) - you deserved it (3347)

On 09/11/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at my job as a bouncer at a music venue, a guy got his nose broken in a rowdy mosh pit. When I went to help him up and see if he was okay, he said, "It was an accident, please don't kick me out," but the word "please" came out as a hot spray of his blood across my face. FML

Today, I fell in the shower and the doors jammed shut. I was stuck in there for hours, waiting for my parents to come home. They had to open the door for me while I was still naked inside. FML

#21364892
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29738) - you deserved it (3347)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I installed high performance brakes on my car after fearing that my old brake system was to weak and I could get into a crash. On the test drive a car in front of me stopped short. My new brakes worked, the ones on the car behind me didn't. I now have whiplash and a totalled car. FML

#1861199
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50472) - you deserved it (3346)

On 05/11/2009 at 11:13pm - misc - by Lex (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out I'm being sued by the man whose life I practically saved a month ago. He says the way I pulled him out of the car he was trapped in has left him with permanent back problems. FML

Today, I broke my toe. After telling my friend about it, he promptly stomped on it to "see what my reaction would be." FML

#13083989
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32410) - you deserved it (3346)

On 09/17/2010 at 7:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my fiancé and I broke up, and he won't answer my calls or texts. I don't want him back; he has my dog. FML

#19702811
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31178) - you deserved it (3346)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:25am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I overheard my dad say "Last time I didn't use a condom, I ended up with Steven, so for god's sake use 'em." I'm Steven. FML

#21244545
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42011) - you deserved it (3346)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML

#14086848
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31947) - you deserved it (3345)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:08pm - money - by unemployable (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, and all day, I was forced to listen to one of the kids in my apartment building play their recorder loudly and horribly. She started over whenever she missed a note. I was sick, was getting a migraine from it, and couldn't ask her to stop without her mom yelling at me. FML

#18242720
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25222) - you deserved it (3345)

On 11/13/2011 at 11:46pm - health - by mintypoison (woman) - United States (Washington)



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