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Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML

#6532401
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37556) - you deserved it (2945)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at work, an old lady came through my line to buy some groceries. She told me she lost her purse and was a little short. It was busy, so I pulled out my little purse and gave her the money she needed. A few minutes later she returned with my boss, insisting that my purse was hers. FML

#13204000
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33397) - you deserved it (2945)

On 09/26/2010 at 12:59am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after having watched a scare story on the news about heart disease, my mom is now insisting that we have daily, hour-long, family yoga sessions together. I have a job, and barely have enough time to do my homework as it is. I'm going to be grounded if I don't take part. FML

#18749747
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26547) - you deserved it (2945)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:59pm - health - by marie519 - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my parents told me they don't think I'll ever find a boyfriend, and insist on referring to my future cats as their "grandkids". FML

#21289318
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30436) - you deserved it (2945)

On 10/31/2014 at 9:16pm - love - by really - United States

Today, my brother admitted that he decides whether he will date a girl or not based on the number of likes she gets on her selfies. We share the same blood. FML

#21332081
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29923) - you deserved it (2945)

On 01/06/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by Discouraged (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss commented on the fact that I don't usually wear makeup, then told me it would be much appreciated if I'd change that. FML

#21313609
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29229) - you deserved it (2945)

On 12/08/2014 at 4:17am - work - by sarahc_c (woman) -

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

#5109294
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54882) - you deserved it (2944)

On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received a phone call at work about an emergency and I had to come home immediately. I arrived to find that no one had been hurt and the house hadn't burned down. The "emergency" was my mom ran out of milk and cigarettes. FML

#16500750
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31760) - you deserved it (2944)

On 06/04/2011 at 3:48pm - misc - by A (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I had a blind date with a really cute guy. Just when I was about to invite him back to my place for a nightcap, he took out a catalog of Russian mail-order brides and asked for my help in picking out the best one. FML

#17892754
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25781) - you deserved it (2944)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:15am - love - by NotRussian (woman) - United States

Today, during lunch break at work, the bitter departmental rivalry blew out of control, when one of the glorified thugs from HR started a fistfight with my shift supervisor. I rushed in to break it up, but only succeeded in getting sucker-punched into next week. FML

Today, my five year old sister won't stop saying, "shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML

#21303585
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26855) - you deserved it (2943)

On 11/21/2014 at 10:29pm - kids - by angkal2002 - Australia

Today, I went to my grandfathers' funeral. As I stood there, bawling my eyes out, my aunt came over and put her arm around me. She leaned her head close to mine. I assumed she was going to say something comforting, instead she asked where I'd bought my shoes from. FML

#4251374
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42835) - you deserved it (2943)

On 08/03/2009 at 8:04am - misc - by whitneyy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my best guy friend set me up on a blind date. Almost immediately after the guy and I sat down, he excused himself to make a call. A couple of feet away from our table, I heard him say, "Come on, Justin, this is the best you could do??" Over the phone. Justin is the guy who set us up. FML

#3676766
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46653) - you deserved it (2942)

On 07/11/2009 at 9:19pm - love - by blind_loser (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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