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Today, my 14 years old brother and 9 years old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

Today, I was introduced to my future stepmother, but it turns out that I already know her. Not only are we the same age and went to the same high school, when we were in the same math class together the teacher would often confuse our names because "we could pass as twins". FML

#4329050
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68511) - you deserved it (3050)

On 08/06/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by whatismydadthinking (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML

#13550544
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29593) - you deserved it (3050)

On 10/22/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (More og Romsdal)

Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML

#20661511
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54535) - you deserved it (3050)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had my midterm finals for AP Literature. My teacher had good news and bad news for us. The bad news? That he lost the file for our original exam and so had to make a harder exam for us. An exam he told us not to study for. The good news? "Jesus Christ suffered and died for our sins." FML

#21319606
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32562) - you deserved it (3050)

On 12/18/2014 at 7:11am - misc - by subversivepanda (woman) - Guam

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing hysterically and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML

#5770681
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29295) - you deserved it (3049)

On 10/11/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by foxbrat - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML

#19164733
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32788) - you deserved it (3049)

On 02/26/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by whattabrat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was cleaning up litter from the street, when a guy asked who I work for. I said nobody and that I was just doing some community service. Before I could clarify that it was voluntary community service, he called me a "piece of shit delinquent", spat on me, and walked off. FML

#20898099
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41406) - you deserved it (3049)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:01pm - misc - by sigh (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got two pieces of mail. One was a fine for not presenting my concession card to ticket inspectors on a train. The other was my concession card. FML

#20912116
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38571) - you deserved it (3049)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:09am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - China (Shanghai)

Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML

#20916778
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40615) - you deserved it (3049)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:44pm - health - by jnisla (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my brother thought jumping out and punching me in the stomach would cure my hiccups. Yeah. Didn't work. FML

#21246592
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34598) - you deserved it (3049)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML

#21387401
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32386) - you deserved it (3049)

On 04/04/2015 at 6:16am - love - by Anonymous - India

Today, I met my boyfriend's very strict and traditional Korean parents. I had to listen to them while they called me a skank and how I was fat and ugly compared to nice, pretty, Korean girls. They don't know I speak Korean. FML

#14184009
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47078) - you deserved it (3048)

On 12/12/2010 at 10:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)



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