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Today, I went on a date at a restaurant with a guy. When he promised I wouldn't have to pay the bill, I didn't think he meant we'd be dining and dashing. FML

#17888720
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19932) - you deserved it (2120)

On 10/02/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by scared (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML

#20008924
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21719) - you deserved it (2120)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my Mom came to pay me a short visit at college. She handed me some flowers, which were a Valentine's Day gift, because she "figured I wouldn't be getting any from anyone else this year." FML

#40460
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27115) - you deserved it (2119)

On 02/14/2009 at 1:23am - misc - by clementine8 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, for the third time this week, my boss made me switch desks. Each new desk is closer to the door than the last one. I think he's trying to tell me something. FML

#6479352
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25569) - you deserved it (2119)

On 11/27/2009 at 2:51pm - work - by Fmyoffice (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, my boss insisted that we get in the holiday mood by putting up lights, playing Christmas music, and wearing bells on our uniforms. It's not even Thanksgiving yet and I can't even have a tinkle without full-blown jingling. FML

#18247729
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17381) - you deserved it (2119)

On 11/14/2011 at 4:53pm - work - by unhappyelf - United States

Today, my very conservative mom met my girlfriend, who recently shaved her head in support of her best friend, who has cancer. My girlfriend looks beautiful and feminine even with her still very short hair. My mom, however, keeps insisting that I'm dating "a confused transgender". FML

#20519321
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32722) - you deserved it (2119)

On 02/23/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a performance evaluation meeting with my boss. He told me I was the best in my department, and that the productivity has never been higher before I started working here. Oh, and he said that because everything is working so well, they don't need me as much, so he's cutting my hours. FML

#142534
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51019) - you deserved it (2118)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:05pm - work - by lolgarbl (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got punched by a man for making fun of his stutter. I didn't. I stutter too. FML

#18980797
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35747) - you deserved it (2118)

On 02/02/2012 at 11:00pm - misc - by Sam (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my unemployed and very needy mother-in-law will be moving in with us soon. And during my conversation on the phone with her, she expects us to buy a house and my wife and I can "live with her." My wife agrees with all of this. FML

#19523754
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24194) - you deserved it (2118)

On 04/24/2012 at 8:08pm - love - by nofrickenway - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got in a car accident on the way to work. I received an abusive phone call from my boss saying he shouldn't have to cover my lazy ass. I was driving to cover his shift because he was too drunk to show up to work. FML

#15642936
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28261) - you deserved it (2117)

On 04/04/2011 at 10:03pm - work - by patch91 -

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17224) - you deserved it (2117)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML

#19475890
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16983) - you deserved it (2117)

On 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm - kids - by sigh (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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