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Today, I was using my fiancé's phone to look up movie times for us. In the internet browser, I found history of him looking on Craigslist for "discreet intimate relationships with women" in our city. We are expecting our little boy in two months. FML

#8948216
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37962) - you deserved it (3210)

On 03/09/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Teeny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML

#2894787
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62243) - you deserved it (3209)

On 06/14/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by bitches. (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my best friend's mom doesn't wear pyjamas when I got up to go get a glass of water in the middle of the night, at the same time she did. FML

#13204621
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25551) - you deserved it (3209)

On 09/26/2010 at 1:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend, the love of my life. Actually I ran into a billboard for her college, where apparently she is the new "poster girl" for their advertising campaign. I have now seen her on 2 billboards, a newspaper ad and a bus. FML

#13209934
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31186) - you deserved it (3209)

On 09/26/2010 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, it took me 5 hours to paint my deck, only to have it ruined by the neighbors cat running all over the undry paint. FML

#16956212
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28378) - you deserved it (3209)

On 07/03/2011 at 12:47am - animals - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. I'm a 22 year old guy and have to schedule a colonoscopy for next week. I guess there's a first time for everything. FML

#16829540
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28602) - you deserved it (3209)

On 06/24/2011 at 3:17am - health - by John (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was so bored at my job as a receptionist that I actually got excited when the phone rang. FML

#18067160
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24834) - you deserved it (3209)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:33pm - work - by anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML

#20146254
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31287) - you deserved it (3209)

On 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm - love - by markderanjer (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56885) - you deserved it (3209)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Sure, but not yet." As we've been together for five years, I was a bit confused, but she cleared that up with, "Not until your dad has died, I don't want him to ruin my wedding with a bad toast." FML

#21405053
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36187) - you deserved it (3209)

On 05/05/2015 at 10:44am - love - by inheritance (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my sister teased me about being a mistake baby. When I told my mom what my sister said, her response was "I still love you anyway". FML

#21737
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34993) - you deserved it (3208)

On 02/10/2009 at 6:41pm - misc - by melissa (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

#19391692
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27428) - you deserved it (3208)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

#19379891
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23131) - you deserved it (3208)

On 03/31/2012 at 12:22am - health - by GetHardOrGoHome - United States (Ohio)



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