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Today, I was taking calls at the helpdesk I work at. The caller was a man, and while helping him with his issue he suddenly stopped to tell me I had a nice soothing voice. Then he told me to say something else. As I continued to help him, he started making moaning noises. I'm a guy. FML

#2372451
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52097) - you deserved it (3091)

On 05/28/2009 at 12:52pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML

#5498731
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38429) - you deserved it (3091)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbors coated their house in flashing Christmas lights and blared out "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" all day long. Only 29 days left until Christmas. FML

#18358726
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25636) - you deserved it (3091)

On 11/26/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)

Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML

#20012686
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24322) - you deserved it (3091)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)

Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML

#20698730
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62390) - you deserved it (3091)

On 06/01/2013 at 2:21am - misc - by regstl - United States (Oregon)

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams' phone number. After texting her "Hey, is this Stephanie?" I got response saying "Sorry bro, I know how you feel, she did the same thing to me." FML

#21371084
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36266) - you deserved it (3091)

On 03/09/2015 at 9:55am - love - by generic_name123 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was talking to my tattoo artist about how my girlfriend broke up with me. She had also gotten her tattoos from him, so they had talked quite a bit. He told me she had been cheating on me with her ex for two and a half months. He didn't tell me because he didn't want to lose business. FML

#12959841
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28946) - you deserved it (3090)

On 09/08/2010 at 4:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I have my very first gynecologist appointment. I'm 15. My mom wants to "be on the safe side" and make sure I'm not sexually active. This is my punishment for being a virgin. FML

#17688285
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31945) - you deserved it (3090)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:57pm - health - by AudraRose - United States

Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML

#19085409
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28211) - you deserved it (3090)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:50pm - health - by TerribleAddiction - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my roommate's noisiest cat passed away. My previously-silent cat has decided that someone has to fill the void, and has been running around the apartment howling ever since. FML

#21391230
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27272) - you deserved it (3090)

On 04/10/2015 at 11:20am - animals - by Crazy cat lady - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, while I was waiting to pull out of a parking space, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to put the car into reverse instead of drive while I was waiting for traffic to clear. I don't think the people who own the car behind me were laughing. Nor is my now ex-boyfriend. FML

#19692417
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26598) - you deserved it (3089)

On 05/28/2012 at 5:38am - misc - by Broke (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, in the middle of my online midterm, my computer decided to update and closed out of the test. It can't be retaken. FML

#19927975
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34378) - you deserved it (3089)

On 07/12/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by failure - United States (Minnesota)

Today, on my way to school, I was shouted at by an obnoxious businessman for sitting down on the train when a "full fare paying passenger" was standing. I would normally have given him the seat straight away, except I have a broken leg. I showed him my leg and crutches. He still made me get up. FML

#20159990
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26813) - you deserved it (3089)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:50am - health - by myleghurts (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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