Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after I had changed my number to get away from my abusive ex, my mom decided to give him my new one. She insists that I need to give him another chance. FML

#20556707
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44971) - you deserved it (2134)

On 03/23/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my room. They all thought he meant he had caught me rubbing one out. I'm actually building a guitar. FML

#20883989
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40466) - you deserved it (2134)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by I have wood (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at work doing phone computer support helping a woman with her computer. I asked her to close all her open windows. She deleted all the important company documents in the open folder instead. I got fired because "close windows" and "delete" have become "too technical" for users. FML

#4133060
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48998) - you deserved it (2133)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:34pm - work - by pixelbaker (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out where all my expensive bras and panties have been disappearing to. Apparently, while I'm at work, my fifteen year-old son's girlfriend has been stealing them after they have sex in my bed. FML

#6874607
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17867) - you deserved it (2133)

On 12/21/2009 at 10:28pm - intimacy - by Secretisout (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML

#16474774
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30779) - you deserved it (2133)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:44pm - work - by corn - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my boss declared total bankruptcy of the company and I lost my job. The good news is my coworkers and I all received McDonald's 10%-off coupons. They expired in 2003. FML

#20963285
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41117) - you deserved it (2133)

On 11/19/2013 at 11:50am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I had to sit here for 8 hours copying and pasting thousands of product codes on a frigging spreadsheet. My job title is not data entry, I'm a graphic designer. FML

#1791
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16225) - you deserved it (2132)

On 01/19/2009 at 8:23pm - work - by Lincoln - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I learned my 40 year old father is marrying a girl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML

#3264690
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59192) - you deserved it (2132)

On 06/27/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by OfCourse (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it appears that my upstairs neighbour has decided to learn how to play the trombone. FML

#8585714
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19008) - you deserved it (2132)

On 02/23/2010 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I rode the public bus. When I got off, I put my hood up only to discover that the old man who sat behind me had used my hood as a trashcan for his gum and used Kleenex. I can't get the gum out of my hair. FML

#18482161
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28949) - you deserved it (2132)

On 12/11/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a graduation gift: a new boyfriend. FML

#19858629
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22437) - you deserved it (2132)

On 06/28/2012 at 12:51am - love - by TheAngryBird - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to be treated for chemical burns, because my mother got the bright idea of using paint thinner to clean me up after I'd painted our living room. FML

#20112154
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15382) - you deserved it (2132)

On 10/11/2012 at 3:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

#20447129
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38790) - you deserved it (2132)

On 01/07/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by legitweirdo - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: