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Today, my dad finally told me why he never paid child support to my mom when he was supposed to for the last ten years. His reason? Because I'm a girl and I wasn't that important. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2010 at 8:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I dropped my remote behind the bed and went to reach for it. Instead of the remote, I grabbed hold of a rat carcass that must have got in when builders were working in my bathroom several weeks ago. FML

by xxmollyxx / 12/16/2010 at 6:54am / Sweden / Animals

Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2011 at 4:36pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Work

Today, I took a week off work because my father passed away. I was at the funeral home making arrangements when I overheard the owners complaining about how their insurance agent had left them to fend for themselves. I'm their insurance agent. FML

by KathleenSchuler / 03/04/2013 at 10:38pm / United States / Work

Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML

by SmallAngel / 03/21/2013 at 8:35pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I woke up from a much needed nap realizing I should take my pain medication. My mother then told me she had thrown them out so I wouldn't get addicted and become a drug dealer. FML

by _Tatyana_ / 06/13/2013 at 3:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, me and some friends had home-made burgers for lunch. The guy who did the cooking later insisted that spitting in a frying pan is a perfectly acceptable way of guessing the right time to add the oil. FML

by HungerStrike / 12/29/2013 at 6:28pm / Czech Republic (Stredocesky kraj) / Health

Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2015 at 7:52am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I corrected my mom in front of our family while she was ragging on my 12 year old cousin who got a piercing. She said, "You don't understand you don't have kids, but on the other hand you probably never will!" I have Polycystic ovary syndrome, she is right, I probably never will. FML

by fannyfitel123 / 08/24/2009 at 12:43pm / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, I saw a my neighbor being mugged on the street. I wanted to help, so I tried to yank her purse from the mugger's hands. I guess my neighbor didn't see me clearly, because she thought I was another mugger and kicked my directly in the happy sacks. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2009 at 9:09pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered my fiancé has been telling everyone else we are just friends, yet last night he wanted me to go with him to pick up my engagement ring. I'm supposing the wedding will be a surprise to everyone. FML

by Unreality / 01/26/2011 at 4:26pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I got demoted from my manager's position, only to be replaced by a 21 year old who has never worked in retail in her life. I now have to spend the next month teaching her my job so they can fire me. FML

by lisha182 / 02/20/2011 at 6:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I found out that my mother is extremely emotional when it comes to animal deaths when a bird flew into the window and died, and she insisted we have a funeral. FML

by tay / 04/10/2012 at 7:13am / Australia / Animals