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Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML

#4478482
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44825) - you deserved it (3015)

On 08/12/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Kobenhavn)

Today, one of my friends pointed out I'm starting to get a mustache! - "You're finally a man!" To bad it's my 15th birthday, and I'm a girl. FML

#7897193
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27820) - you deserved it (3015)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss scheduled a staff breakfast at a swanky new restaurant for all the hard work we've been doing. The dining area is on the roof, and the building has no elevator. I've been in a wheelchair for 11 years. When I brought this to my boss's attention, he said it wasn't his problem. FML

#16267088
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49087) - you deserved it (3015)

On 05/20/2011 at 1:59pm - work - by jayc80 (man) - Bermuda (Hamilton)

Today, my dad awkwardly asked me how to selectively clear his browser history. Apparently, my mom discovered his browsing habits and tore him a new one for looking at "nothing but vile smut". FML

#16606089
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26795) - you deserved it (3015)

On 06/11/2011 at 2:37am - intimacy - by dadisgoatboy - Switzerland (Aargau)

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26185) - you deserved it (3015)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML

#20605914
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38003) - you deserved it (3015)

On 04/19/2013 at 8:16pm - work - by unemployed (woman) - El Salvador (San Salvador)

Today, I noticed fraudulent charges made in Florida that nearly drained my bank account. After reporting the fraud to the bank, I returned home from a weekend away to find a note from my husband. He and his mistress have run off to Florida to start a life together, apparently at my expense. FML

#20810887
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53343) - you deserved it (3015)

On 07/30/2013 at 1:09am - money - by brokeandalone (woman) - United States

Today, a child was choking in the store I work at. He was alone in the aisle, so I started the Heimlich without his parents' permission. After dislodging what was caught, his mother turned the corner and went screaming to my manager for touching her kid. I got a write up. FML

#20839746
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51911) - you deserved it (3015)

On 08/16/2013 at 1:02am - kids - by justwantingtohelp - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML

#20912417
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49707) - you deserved it (3015)

On 10/08/2013 at 12:30pm - misc - by she knows - United States (Hawaii)

Today, the city shut off the water at my house because my roommate thought that the water bills he had been hoarding were "suggestions." FML

#6118488
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30342) - you deserved it (3014)

On 11/02/2009 at 12:30pm - money - by parched (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to our school golf banquet, after being with the team and practicing every day for a few months with them. When it came time to get the certificates, all the names were called out. Except for mine. When I asked the coach where my certificate was, he said "Who are you?". FML

#6158191
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32195) - you deserved it (3014)

On 11/04/2009 at 9:12pm - misc - by RKE (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend announced he has stopped wearing deodorant because he thinks his BO smells "manly." FML

#13991584
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29708) - you deserved it (3014)

On 11/26/2010 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML

#17391644
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27450) - you deserved it (3014)

On 08/06/2011 at 10:49pm - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Colorado)



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