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Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML

#6983877
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38123) - you deserved it (3403)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers. I thought they might be from my crush, so I excitedly opened the card. It was from my druggie ex-boyfriend, who apparently can't move on with his life even after three years. The contents of the card? "Baby, I got you like a habit, and I can't give you up". FML

#8250207
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24919) - you deserved it (3403)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:52pm - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I woke up to my kids shaking me, saying, "Get up, Santa was here!" I got up to find my TV, computer and MacBook Air all gone. FML

#14191427
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40420) - you deserved it (3403)

On 12/13/2010 at 2:32pm - kids - by crazycora (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

#12209813
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44387) - you deserved it (3403)

On 07/30/2010 at 4:00pm - work - by MLZ (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend took me to a very elegant and expensive restaurant to celebrate our anniversary. When it came to the check, I volunteered to pitch in half, which he rejected by saying "I got it". Little did I know was that "I got it" was short for "I got your credit card". FML

#20868496
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45627) - you deserved it (3403)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by IGOTIT (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my uncle gave me a very expensive bottle of champagne at a celebratory family event. We were celebrating me spending 1 year sober. FML

#20951207
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47678) - you deserved it (3403)

On 11/09/2013 at 8:20am - misc - by Falling off the wagon - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, I went to a club to celebrate New Year's Eve. A cute guy came up to me at the bar and asked my name. I thought my 8 year long dry spell was finally about to end. I smiled and said "Chrissy!" He said "That's a whore's name!" and wandered back off into the crowd. FML

#21327860
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34828) - you deserved it (3403)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:39pm - love - by cakestar9 (woman) - Ireland (Clare)

Today, my dad decided to wake me up by opening the shades and having the sun shine on my face. When he pulled them up, the metal holder on top broke off and fell on me. FML

#15822401
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29265) - you deserved it (3402)

On 04/17/2011 at 2:32pm - misc - by zoearcu - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was finally asked out on a date after a year of being single. Turns out he got the wrong number. FML

#20799037
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47404) - you deserved it (3402)

On 07/23/2013 at 5:51am - love - by foreveralone (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML

Today, I can't get my heat to turn off. It is currently 87 degrees Fahrenheit in my house, and my heat is running non-stop. It's about 20 degrees outside with over a foot of snow on the ground, so a repairman can't come out to fix it. My electricity bill will be about $1000. FML

#6829701
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33058) - you deserved it (3401)

On 12/19/2009 at 3:10pm - money - by heatproblems (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at my new job, I took some food out to a customer. Walking away, I heard a lady mumble, "Oh my God, you could never pay me enough to wear that." FML

#14197069
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23903) - you deserved it (3401)

On 12/13/2010 at 11:13pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out my husband of 10 years has a online blog. Excited to read about myself, I began skimming, only to find out that every entry is him explaining how he let his "soulmate" walk away 9 years ago because of his "previous commitment" and how he regrets it every day. FML

#8909849
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37664) - you deserved it (3401)

On 03/08/2010 at 12:14am - love - by smashleighfig - Sent from mobile version



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