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Today, I informed my grandparents of my upcoming graduation from college. My grandma looked at me with tears in her eyes, and told me how proud she was that I was able to make it so far in spite of being autistic. I am not, nor have I ever been autistic. FML

#15170920
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37557) - you deserved it (3094)

On 03/02/2011 at 12:24am - misc - by Acesup111 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML

#17396996
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25452) - you deserved it (3094)

On 08/07/2011 at 1:14pm - kids - by SheaLili - United States (California)

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

#18807759
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40010) - you deserved it (3094)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom and I went to Best Buy for some Christmas shopping. She picked up some presents for me and told me not to look at what she was buying. When we got to the register, she didn't have enough money, and I ended up having to buy my own presents. FML

#20413996
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36826) - you deserved it (3094)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:25pm - money - by dude, where's my balls? :( (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I had a sneeze attack while my nose was bleeding. Now my living room looks like a crime scene. FML

#21332502
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35614) - you deserved it (3094)

On 01/07/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by MonsterProblems (woman) - Croatia

Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML

#21399850
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32554) - you deserved it (3094)

On 04/26/2015 at 4:19am - love - by fuck you (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML

#1763886
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56019) - you deserved it (3093)

On 05/08/2009 at 11:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

#7564644
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29946) - you deserved it (3093)

On 01/25/2010 at 5:18am - kids - by shitface (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML

#10540841
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28850) - you deserved it (3093)

On 05/15/2010 at 2:27am - misc - by sheridan.ashley (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML

#20623583
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46575) - you deserved it (3093)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:03pm - work - by fuck you walmart (woman) - United States

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

#20675279
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40815) - you deserved it (3093)

On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML

#21110266
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41787) - you deserved it (3093)

On 04/11/2014 at 12:38pm - misc - by Cuntlette (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend told me that the necklace I gave her wasn't a "unique enough gift." I spent two weeks making that necklace, link by link. FML

#21257946
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45242) - you deserved it (3093)

On 09/14/2014 at 8:53am - love - by NoConfusion (man) - United States (California)



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