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Today, I noticed a woman struggling to work a parking meter, so I went over to help. She took one look at me before screaming, hitting me in the face, and running back to her car. FML

by Username / 07/08/2011 at 4:02pm / United States / Health

Today, I found out that my stalker ex-girlfriend named her new born son after me. FML

by cjy152 / 09/21/2011 at 10:44am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I sat in my hotel room bathroom in dead silence for 30 minutes while I waited for the cleaning staff to stop watching TV and drinking beer from the minibar, so that I could finish using the toilet. FML

by mn051299 / 02/10/2016 at 4:09am / Switzerland (Schwyz) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2010 at 10:16pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, my dad finally told me why he never paid child support to my mom when he was supposed to for the last ten years. His reason? Because I'm a girl and I wasn't that important. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2010 at 8:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that I spend more money on gas to go to my job than what I get paid. FML

by izziegrl / 09/24/2012 at 2:21pm / Mexico (Mexico) / Money

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why chewing "shit-tons of gum" is not an actual alternative to brushing his teeth. FML

by Dat Stanky Mouf / 03/16/2013 at 5:52pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

by Jehovah God / 03/07/2014 at 1:51pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss told me that there is no point in making me cut onions anymore because every time I do, I look like I've "been beaten", and can't be seen by the customers for at least half an hour. FML

by Embarassed / 03/19/2014 at 6:24pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I took my binder on a short road trip two hours away from my home, so that I could study for my upcoming finals. When I got home, I realized I that had left my binder all the way there, containing my notes, classwork, homework, finals notes, etc. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2016 at 11:46pm / United States (Idaho) / Work

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

by webperson04 / 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML

by John / 06/30/2011 at 4:18am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the engineers I work with believe that a woman with an engineering degree working in an engineering company is apparently equivalent to a "secretary for engineers." I am that woman. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2011 at 1:53am / United Kingdom / Work