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Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted. FML

#21110479
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47448) - you deserved it (2979)

On 04/11/2014 at 5:58pm - kids - by babylove - South Africa

Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML

#21234785
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35483) - you deserved it (2979)

On 08/11/2014 at 11:02am - misc - by welptimetoburntheplacedown (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

#21241796
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39696) - you deserved it (2979)

On 08/20/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by sonofaneuroticwench (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was working as a cashier at my job. A guy came up with a cart full of stuff and it took me 10 minutes to ring it all up. When I told him his total, he felt his pockets, said "Oh shit I forgot my wallet!" and walked away. He left about 15 bags worth of things for me to put back. FML

#4219084
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42648) - you deserved it (2978)

On 08/02/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by drano - United States (California)

Today, during my family's traditional 4th of July weekend celebration, my water broke. I kept trying to tell them and asked them to take me to the hospital, but they couldn't hear me over the fireworks. They all just kept smiling and nodding. FML

#20767424
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49184) - you deserved it (2978)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I helped a "blind" man across the street. He kindly said thank you and patted me on the back. Then, I went into a store and realized my wallet was missing. FML

#8840238
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25952) - you deserved it (2977)

On 03/05/2010 at 2:50am - misc - by whyymee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my fiancé had responded to an online missed connection posting. He has been emailing, exchanging pictures and making plans to go out with this girl. We are supposed to be married in the fall and just put down the non-refundable deposit on our reception site. FML

#9183586
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30978) - you deserved it (2977)

On 03/18/2010 at 9:49am - love - by anon17 - United States

Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML

#19230527
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40135) - you deserved it (2977)

On 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked a good friend what she thought would make me more attractive to women. Her advice was, "Don't be yourself." FML

#19073869
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19549) - you deserved it (2977)

On 02/14/2012 at 1:05pm - misc - by random - United States

Today, my mother told me that she and my father aren't coming to my wedding if my estranged brother who stopped talking to me two years ago isn't invited. She claims they don't want to choose sides. Brother: 1. Me: 0. FML

Today, I realized the annoying squealing I hear every night isn't my guinea pig. Apparently my brothers girlfriend makes that sound when they have sex. FML

#62926
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44791) - you deserved it (2976)

On 02/17/2009 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by KTK (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was getting on a bus, the driver shut the door on me while I was half way inside. Instead of apologizing to me, he criticized me for getting in the way. FML

#6049561
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28471) - you deserved it (2976)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by insignificant (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, a 75 year old lady drove into me. Her excuse was, "I wasn't looking." Awesome. FML

#11412835
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35822) - you deserved it (2976)

On 06/23/2010 at 9:51pm - misc - by hurricane0331 - United States (Texas)



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