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Today, my grandpa told us he wanted to fit in. His idea of fitting in is streaking in a park at 4:00 pm. FML

by Nice 2 inch / 06/27/2011 at 8:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me because he wanted some independence. He moved back into his parents house. FML

by independence / 07/07/2011 at 12:04am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML

by Madi / 11/30/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't agree to convert to their new brand of Christianity. This is a day after they ranted at me about how I should speak my mind more and not let myself be controlled by other people. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML

by WaltTheFuckDad / 09/01/2013 at 7:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a few weeks of my dad setting up glue traps in the garage to trap mice, I found out what it's like to have a pigeon wander in and get its foot stuck on one. FML

by Axelerate / 12/04/2014 at 6:09am / United States (Nevada) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I decided to go all-natural and go to work without any makeup on. My boss swore I was on drugs, which I guess had absolutely nothing to do with the completely "random" drug test I had to take later in the day. FML

by vaylosa / 02/22/2015 at 3:36pm / Work

Today, I was paired up with my long-term crush for a project. She introduced herself to me and asked if I was new this year. We've gone to the same school since kindergarten. FML

by Heart-Broken / 04/08/2015 at 9:58pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, my parents bought me a wine glass with "Who needs a man?" painted all over it. Cute, until after dinner my mom looked me in the eyes and asked with complete sincerity, "Kara, are you gay?" My parents tried to get me to come out. I'm straight. FML

by pa / 05/21/2009 at 9:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed my parents replaced my senior picture that hung on our livingroom wall with a painted one. Of our German Sheperd. FML

by trgtyo / 05/18/2009 at 7:20pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started my spring break. My college is letting the students stay in the dorms for break, so I figured that staying here would mean getting more sleep than going home. Not so much. The fire alarm has been going off every 20 mins since 7:30am because they're "fixing" it. FML

by sleepy2010 / 03/08/2010 at 9:46am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend told me that we should take a break from our relationship, because it'd be best for the both of us. Later, I found out that she really meant it'd be best for her and her new boyfriend. FML

by Depressed / 07/14/2010 at 1:08am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see whose dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML

by Tom / 03/10/2011 at 6:09am / Animals