Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

#13521547
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36659) - you deserved it (3099)

On 10/20/2010 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML

#13124550
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33942) - you deserved it (3099)

On 09/20/2010 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Thomas - United States (Oregon)

Today, a woman called my work and accused me of having an affair with her husband, my coworker, demanding that my boss discipline me. I don't know her, I barely know her husband, and I haven't had sex in months. FML

#15680012
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37148) - you deserved it (3099)

On 04/07/2011 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by kharrington - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mother asked me why her new airsoft gun wasn't working. I explained to her that it doesn't actually shoot air, it requires pellets too. She looked at me like I was too stupid to be her son. FML

#21078133
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39920) - you deserved it (3099)

On 03/04/2014 at 7:09pm - kids - by Drizztreri - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was fired for not asking a senior citizen for proof that he was over 21 and legally allowed to purchase alcohol. When I told my manager he was clearly over 21, he replied, "But what if he WASN'T?" FML

#21412440
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30154) - you deserved it (3099)

On 05/19/2015 at 7:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked downstairs in a new outfit, after dieting for 3 months, and losing just over 20 pounds. My mom took one look at me and said "You'd better keep going." FML

#134892
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44977) - you deserved it (3098)

On 02/25/2009 at 5:06pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I logged onto facebook to realize that my boyfriend is now listed as single. News to me. FML

#13746
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42968) - you deserved it (3098)

On 02/07/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by klv8 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to meet my mother. Being a college student, I decided I was too lazy to shave this morning. She noticed the stubble on my face, and started crying because I'm growing up. I'm 23 years old. My dad yelled at me for making my mom cry. FML

#6283375
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31158) - you deserved it (3098)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by stubble (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs. FML

#14963197
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25549) - you deserved it (3098)

On 02/13/2011 at 8:18pm - misc - by alice (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while putting a water bottle into the fridge, I suddenly had to sneeze. The force of my sneezing propelled my head against the open fridge door, causing a gushing wound to my forehead. Bless me. FML

#21326529
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27624) - you deserved it (3098)

On 12/29/2014 at 2:11pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, it dawned on me that the most romantic thing my husband has done in the last three years, was a put a wedding ring on his xbox avatar. FML

#7945898
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24723) - you deserved it (3097)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:09pm - love - by browniepoints (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML

#15015231
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34902) - you deserved it (3097)

On 02/17/2011 at 11:33am - animals - by Aled (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I can't get my heat to turn off. It is currently 87 degrees Fahrenheit in my house, and my heat is running non-stop. It's about 20 degrees outside with over a foot of snow on the ground, so a repairman can't come out to fix it. My electricity bill will be about $1000. FML

#6829701
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29768) - you deserved it (3096)

On 12/19/2009 at 3:10pm - money - by heatproblems (man) - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: