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Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML

#19730259
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32757) - you deserved it (3220)

On 06/04/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by whattheheck - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I arrived at the airport only to find my suitcase was lost and my 3 weeks worth of clothes and supplies gone. All I had left was my wallet and carry ons. Upon leaving the airport I was mugged. FML

#21068141
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49830) - you deserved it (3220)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:48am - misc - by seriously though - United States (Colorado)

Today, I've spent far too long on hold to Apple customer support. Unfortunately the only thing to come from it is I now have "Call me maybe" stuck in my head. FML

#21325140
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26176) - you deserved it (3220)

On 12/27/2014 at 5:12am - misc - by still on hol - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML

#21246620
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38401) - you deserved it (3220)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:03pm - misc - by dr.mantistobagon (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML

#21437326
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26841) - you deserved it (3220)

On 07/06/2015 at 11:14am - intimacy - by BrittUnicorn - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

#4644829
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67571) - you deserved it (3219)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML

#6252337
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51173) - you deserved it (3219)

On 11/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by noexceptions (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

#8124338
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46386) - you deserved it (3219)

On 02/11/2010 at 7:22am - misc - by Biological (man) - United States (California)

Today, after months of looking forward to my new fencing lessons and speculating endlessly about the people who might be in my class, I went to my first lesson. I was the only one who showed up. FML

#17739609
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23470) - you deserved it (3219)

On 09/13/2011 at 9:30pm - misc - by ManinBlack (man) - Canada

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20136682
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20558) - you deserved it (3219)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

#19738484
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29230) - you deserved it (3218)

On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

#20044244
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25617) - you deserved it (3218)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States

Today, I got called an "evil Nazi bitch" because I let a customer know that this is the last day our store will have free plastic bags. FML

#20581805
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34156) - you deserved it (3218)

On 04/09/2013 at 4:18am - work - by steppppphhhhhh - United States (California)



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