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Today, at the yacht club I work at a girl ordered a Portabella wrap. She asked for no cheese or veggies, just the Portabellas. After she got the sandwich and ate half of it, she sent it back saying she didn't know it had mushrooms in it. FML

#20840141
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44973) - you deserved it (3070)

On 08/16/2013 at 10:05am - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was waiting for my girlfriend, I wanted to have a serious talk about her hypochondria. She called to cancel because she was (self) diagnosed with some sort of 'neurological disorder'. FML

#14705943
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21990) - you deserved it (3069)

On 01/25/2011 at 2:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Korea Republic of (Ulsan-gwangyoksi)

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32139) - you deserved it (3069)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, my brother's girlfriend broke up with him. He has been playing Whitney Houston's "I will always love you" all day. FML

#19045802
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30974) - you deserved it (3069)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:23am - love - by annon - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boss and I had to come up with a code to call if a person acts inappropriately towards me because I "attract too many weirdos." FML

#20529995
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30206) - you deserved it (3069)

On 03/03/2013 at 8:17pm - work - by smokeysarah94 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I burned my hand while making breakfast. As I staggered around the kitchen in agony, looking for some burn cream, my cat figured he'd latch onto said hand and drag his claws through the burn. FML

Today, in the middle of sex with my boyfriend, my visiting brother knocked on the door saying he'd want to hear the details later. My boyfriend said, "Sure", and kept going. FML

#21346952
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28806) - you deserved it (3069)

On 01/30/2015 at 6:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my friend got drunk. We tried to get him into a cab, he punched me in the face, three chavs then accosted me, accusing me of trying to mug him. I was then beaten up by said chavs and then the police charged me for being drunk and disorderly. FML

#5072563
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40146) - you deserved it (3068)

On 09/06/2009 at 12:03am - health - by DrunkenValor (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I saw a my neighbor being mugged on the street. I wanted to help, so I tried to yank her purse from the mugger's hands. I guess my neighbor didn't see me clearly, because she thought I was another mugger and kicked my directly in the happy sacks. FML

#6452828
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28139) - you deserved it (3068)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML

#19475890
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22258) - you deserved it (3068)

On 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm - kids - by sigh (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML

#19917183
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28894) - you deserved it (3068)

On 07/09/2012 at 11:40pm - love - by sober (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML

#21964
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37516) - you deserved it (3067)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by herpderp (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after getting my appendix taken out, we had to drive over five sets of railroad tracks. Then, my four year old brother decided to punch me in the stomach because, "I took away his mommy for two days." FML

#11459471
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43125) - you deserved it (3067)

On 06/25/2010 at 8:30pm - love - by cduttl1230 - United States (Idaho)



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