Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after 3 years at my job I received a 14% raise. I was informed I will be transitioned from hourly to salary. I will now be making $1500 LESS than I made last year. FML

#15504213
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34015) - you deserved it (3030)

On 03/26/2011 at 9:28pm - money - by fml - United States

Today, I bought some beef jerky. As I put the first piece in my mouth, I thought to myself, "Wow, this is tough enough to break a tooth." It was. FML

#19816534
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22246) - you deserved it (3030)

On 06/20/2012 at 1:22am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML

#20479640
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24939) - you deserved it (3030)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:18pm - animals - by peteswentzbass - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I failed a major exam. It wasn't because I didn't prepare for it, though. I failed because somebody sneezed during it and I said "bless you." Apparently, that's classed as cheating. FML

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML

#21308242
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33418) - you deserved it (3029)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I drove to a party after getting my car back from the shop. A thunderstorm started as I made my way there and upon arriving, the power went out. The guests decided to watch the storm from the front windows when someone mentioned how funny it would be if a tree fell on my car. Seconds later, one did. FML

#111850
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61257) - you deserved it (3028)

On 02/23/2009 at 3:08am - misc - by Jessie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was watching a movie with my sister, my roommate, and my girlfriend. Half way through the movie, my girlfriend left the room and texted me that she was breaking up with me. She then came back in the room, sat on my bed, and enjoyed the rest of the movie with us. FML

#5924772
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42928) - you deserved it (3028)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:39am - love - by Small_Fry_Hero (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was looking at the annoucements in the newspaper and find out that my boyfriend of the past 6 years is supposed to be married in 2 days to what I thought was his ex-girlfriend. FML

#6335131
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37598) - you deserved it (3028)

On 11/16/2009 at 11:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant downtown with my brother in-law when I told him I couldn't eat any more. He then told me, "You better, or you're walking home." He wasn't kidding. FML

#13919732
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22335) - you deserved it (3028)

On 11/21/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by Random Person - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML

#13241865
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42306) - you deserved it (3028)

On 09/28/2010 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I put a blue toilet cleaner square in the back of toilet. My fiancé called me later on freaking out because he couldn't get the "blue water to go away" when he flushed. FML

#18447759
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23176) - you deserved it (3028)

On 12/06/2011 at 8:38pm - love - by sparklethelette - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML

#18032391
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36199) - you deserved it (3028)

On 10/20/2011 at 5:18pm - love - by cmd102 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was transporting liquor between stores for work. A car pulled out and cut me off, causing me to slam on my brakes. My car stopped. The 200 dollars-worth of booze did not. FML

#18859567
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23422) - you deserved it (3028)

On 01/20/2012 at 3:23am - work - by LiquorChick (woman) - United States



Juliette Bubulle's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Juliette's illustrated FML
  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: