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Today, my husband told me to hold out my hand. He opened his, and in mine dropped a giant mutant tooth he had pulled a few months ago. FML

#8332517
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17983) - you deserved it (2140)

On 02/16/2010 at 6:51am - misc - by fmlpgh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was seated, once again, at the "too small" children's table. I'm twenty. FML

#13977736
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19761) - you deserved it (2140)

On 11/25/2010 at 6:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML

#19387576
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16907) - you deserved it (2140)

On 04/01/2012 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, wanting to change from the usual pizza/coca cola menu, I decide to cook. After spending 1h30 making a "beef chili with ancho, mole, and cumin" I sprinkle a bit of salt on top of it. The top came off the salt. I think it's back to pizzas for me. FML

#1229
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13385) - you deserved it (2139)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:00am - health - by j0j0 - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I had to do something that many young technologically-savvy people fear. I had to get on my dad's Facebook for him to delete a rather scandalous photo of his genitals he accidentally uploaded. FML

#12955617
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30591) - you deserved it (2139)

On 09/07/2010 at 10:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was installing TVs in a hospital. When I knocked on a door, a female voice asked me to come in. I opened the door to see an 80 year old woman standing in front of me, naked. She then complained when I hesitated to help her to put some clothes on. FML

#12483981
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22515) - you deserved it (2139)

On 08/12/2010 at 7:21pm - misc - by Olorin (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML

#20038908
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17765) - you deserved it (2139)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:33am - animals - by murphy22 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my mother bitched me out for not finishing my laundry. I'm a 37-year-old mother of three. She rents my basement suite. FML

Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

#20421301
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20625) - you deserved it (2139)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by everore - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to go see my boyfriend of over two years in a play. I knew that he'd be kissing his female opposite at the end of the show and I was okay with that. I snuck into his dressing room at intermission to find him "rehearsing" with her half naked. FML

#6309781
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34937) - you deserved it (2138)

On 11/15/2009 at 2:51am - love - by irishbitch (woman) -

Today, while I was at work, a co-worker watched while some kid stole the radio out of my car. FML

#17282726
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24486) - you deserved it (2138)

On 07/28/2011 at 12:34am - work - by cocokiss410 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I picked my car up from the shop. After 5 minutes I noticed the oil and check engine light on. I pulled over, then the engine shut off completely. Turns out they forgot to put oil back in my car. I'll be needing a new engine. FML

#5599183
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30327) - you deserved it (2137)

On 10/02/2009 at 1:51am - misc - by cartrouble (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my wife changed her name back to her maiden name. Why? So people would stop asking questions about us. We have been married for 15 years. FML

#7411056
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24904) - you deserved it (2137)

On 01/18/2010 at 12:06am - love - by unloved (man) - United Kingdom (Southend-on-Sea)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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