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Today, my mother requested that I return the $500 she had previously given me to help me pay for college. Her reasoning? "You work three jobs, you can afford it." I work three jobs because she decided buying herself a car was more important than my schooling. FML

Today, I went to a club to celebrate New Year's Eve. A cute guy came up to me at the bar and asked my name. I thought my 8 year long dry spell was finally about to end. I smiled and said "Chrissy!" He said "That's a whore's name!" and wandered back off into the crowd. FML

#21327860
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31646) - you deserved it (2989)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:39pm - love - by cakestar9 (woman) - Ireland (Clare)

Today, I was paired up with my long-term crush for a project. She introduced herself to me and asked if I was new this year. We've gone to the same school since kindergarten. FML

#21390271
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32282) - you deserved it (2989)

On 04/08/2015 at 9:58pm - love - by Heart-Broken - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML

#6313431
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25845) - you deserved it (2988)

On 11/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by oww - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was on a plane. When my flight attendant brought me my drink, it had a lid and a straw. He told me, very seriously, "not to spill." No one else got a lid. I'm 18, and apparently I look spill-prone. FML

#14604912
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22500) - you deserved it (2988)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:37pm - misc - by thisisme (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

#20179069
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19253) - you deserved it (2988)

On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

#20180296
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24783) - you deserved it (2988)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. After telling her everything I'm going through, she looked at me and said "You know... every five years or so I get a case completely beyond my ability to help." I guess it's been five years. FML

#20963305
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45661) - you deserved it (2988)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:31pm - health - by elle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a gift-wrapped package in the mail from my racist mother-in-law. She's always hated me, so I thought it was a bit strange. Inside was a squirt gun and a note telling me to take my "black ass" for a walk around a police station with it, followed with a smiley face. FML

#21325871
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40335) - you deserved it (2988)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45892) - you deserved it (2987)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my girlfriend. I told her that I loved her. She asked me how much wind-shield wiper blades cost. FML

#7296803
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19879) - you deserved it (2987)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Upbrakie - United States

Today, my mother told her friends that I work as a call girl. I'm a call center agent. FML

#20989169
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37986) - you deserved it (2987)

On 12/11/2013 at 5:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Luxembourg

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

#21077955
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41838) - you deserved it (2987)

On 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by fuck you, jack (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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