Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my dad recently created a Facebook account for himself. So I friended him. He refuses to accept my friend request. He did, however, accept my sister's. FML

#8686937
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28747) - you deserved it (3406)

On 02/27/2010 at 10:58am - misc - by msmusiclover7 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I treated my mom to a movie and lunch after she'd attended weeks of AA meetings. She snuck in a flask to the movie, and during lunch, she started calling people muggles. FML

#15128111
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32234) - you deserved it (3406)

On 02/26/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by BackToRehab - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I used a fire extinguisher for the first time. Too bad it was on my car. FML

#16523437
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28461) - you deserved it (3406)

On 06/06/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, while I was delivering pizza in the torrential downpour, I waited 5 minutes in the pouring rain for an old lady to dig 20 bucks out of her purse. Her total was $19.99. She told me to keep the change and make lots of money. FML

#16781053
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37016) - you deserved it (3406)

On 06/21/2011 at 12:52pm - work - by micheal - United States

Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML

#18364433
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41258) - you deserved it (3406)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I realized that I spend more money on gas to go to my job than what I get paid. FML

#20086643
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26469) - you deserved it (3406)

On 09/24/2012 at 2:21pm - work - by izziegrl - Mexico (Mexico)

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML

#20872688
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44035) - you deserved it (3406)

On 09/08/2013 at 9:07am - love - by laundry day again... - United States

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

#20925128
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71806) - you deserved it (3406)

On 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I walked into my elderly client's home for my first day of work. I was immediately hit in the eye with something small, and had to get medical attention for a scratched cornea. It turns out my client likes to clip his toenails right by his front door. FML

#21088031
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41364) - you deserved it (3406)

On 03/16/2014 at 10:00am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after weeks of my girlfriend constantly mentioning pegging and asking me to let her do it, I caved and figured I might as well stand by my "try anything once" rule. Her response? Saying she knew I was gay all along and dumping me. The fuck? FML

#21470529
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27659) - you deserved it (3406)

On 09/20/2015 at 9:44am - intimacy - by no I've never asked for anal (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that I have to block my number to get my own mother to take my phone calls. FML

#6037423
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33531) - you deserved it (3405)

On 10/28/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by Slayeddd (woman) - United States

Today, I had to go to the hospital for an allergic reaction. Turns out, I'm highly allergic to cherry blossoms. My wife and I just bought a house and moved into a new neighborhood. Almost every block in this neighborhood, including my own, has rows and rows of cherry blossom trees. FML

#20628272
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45458) - you deserved it (3405)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:10pm - health - by verycherryfucked (man) - United States (New York)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: