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Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML

#5463165
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21769) - you deserved it (2962)

On 09/25/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by lone_ranger (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via facebook. I don't even have a facebook. My friends had to tell me. FML

#14160726
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33967) - you deserved it (2962)

On 12/11/2010 at 12:05am - love - by itsover (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML

#19959612
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25596) - you deserved it (2962)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:05pm - health - by owwwww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally found out why my husband is always so eager and happy to buy me whatever I am craving during my pregnancy. It's because it gives him an excuse to meet up with his mistress and have a quickie. FML

#21294259
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53759) - you deserved it (2962)

On 11/07/2014 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, after coming home from hanging out with a few friends, my mom told me that I shouldn't hang out with them any more. Why? Because "they are way hotter than I am and I'll never get a boyfriend if I'm always the ugly one in my group." FML

#5515863
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40131) - you deserved it (2961)

On 09/27/2009 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, we were practicing figure drawing in art class. Our regular model didn't show up, so our teacher pulled someone out of study hall. And who did she pick? My ex-boyfriend, who stalked me after our breakup, which resulted in a nervous breakdown that put me in therapy. It was a long class. FML

#14016985
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26667) - you deserved it (2961)

On 11/28/2010 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got my first job after having spent months looking, and graduating college in the meantime. I got it based on my pre-college qualifications. FML

#17928549
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23159) - you deserved it (2961)

On 10/07/2011 at 3:32pm - work - by jdmarine83 - United States

Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML

#20145433
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37488) - you deserved it (2961)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - intimacy - by heartbroke (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to listen to my boss say "Arabica beans" in a goofy, fake New England accent every time the McDonald's ice coffee commercial came on the radio. I worked a 12-hour shift. FML

#20937230
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32384) - you deserved it (2961)

On 10/28/2013 at 8:53pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to retrieve my stolen wallet from the train station. After I collected it, I returned to the place where I parked my bike to find that my bike had been stolen. FML

#5941980
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31078) - you deserved it (2960)

On 10/22/2009 at 7:29am - misc - by UnluckyTeen (man) - Singapore

Today, my dog received a christmas card before I did. FML

#6678775
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26971) - you deserved it (2960)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:33am - animals - by amywee (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I found out that I have a gluten allergy. What this basically means is that I can't eat anything with wheat in it; bread, pasta, cake, you name it. I am Italian, this basically limits me from eating any of the awesome food my family makes almost every night. Here I come plain rice. FML

#13531568
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34853) - you deserved it (2960)

On 10/20/2010 at 11:12pm - health - by allergic - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought something special at Victoria's Secret, then sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for 2 hours to get to my boyfriend's house. When I got there, he broke up with me. We're 37 years old and he actually gave me the "it's not you, it's me" speech. FML

#14645700
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29287) - you deserved it (2960)

On 01/20/2011 at 12:04am - love - by singleladynow (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



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