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Today, I discovered that an unmentioned side effect of my new medication is body zits. I now have zits on my neck, my ear, and inside my nose. FML

#15666194
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32117) - you deserved it (3075)

On 04/06/2011 at 3:31pm - health - by ewwww (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while working at Subway, a man ordered a sub with avocado. When I told him it was no longer available, he screamed, spit in my face and ran out, pushing over an innocent bystander in the process. FML

#17142025
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33187) - you deserved it (3075)

On 07/16/2011 at 10:46pm - work - by sandwichmaker - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my company is paying more for hors d'oeuvres at one party than I will receive for my entire year long internship. FML

#17579253
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23008) - you deserved it (3075)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:55pm - work - by OfficeSlave (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

#20908703
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48250) - you deserved it (3075)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got an e-mail regarding an IT support job I applied to. The e-mail had numerous formatting errors due to bad code, and typos all over the place. It said I wasn't qualified for the job. FML

#21011264
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38728) - you deserved it (3075)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:08am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a guy took me out on a date. His imaginary friends joined us. FML

#21244154
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38652) - you deserved it (3075)

On 08/24/2014 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents decided to "discipline" my kitten by spraying her with water. This somehow managed to completely un-train her, and now she's back to being the compulsive biter she was when I first brought her home. FML

#21318466
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29230) - you deserved it (3075)

On 12/16/2014 at 10:01am - animals - by scars - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML

#21351917
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30983) - you deserved it (3075)

On 02/08/2015 at 3:35am - animals - by OnlyAvailableID - Australia

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me "she has a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So, I hurried home only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML

#5851375
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42402) - you deserved it (3074)

On 10/16/2009 at 1:33pm - animals - by syn1734 - United States

Today, I found out the reason I can't get a job. My previous employer didn't know my name, so when places I applied to called there for a reference, my boss said he had no recollection of me working there. FML

#11010469
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28930) - you deserved it (3074)

On 06/06/2010 at 1:36pm - work - by duko3000 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 70 year old grandma was yelling at me to take a pregnancy test, in the middle of Walmart. I'm 16, still a virgin and haven't had a boyfriend since I was 13. FML

#14693370
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32780) - you deserved it (3074)

On 01/24/2011 at 12:11am - intimacy - by andifalls -

Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML

#20665269
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41764) - you deserved it (3074)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom found a new fad, and now styles herself as some kind of modern druid. Normally I'd just roll my eyes and deal with it, except she's forced the entire family to go vegetarian, threatening harsh punishments if we refuse to stop "poisoning" our bodies. FML

#20943896
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38176) - you deserved it (3074)

On 11/03/2013 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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