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Today, while working as a teacher at a daycare, a two year-old girl decided the best way to share that she had pooped was to reach in her diaper and attempt to hand some to me. FML

#21264874
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31880) - you deserved it (3136)

On 09/25/2014 at 12:03am - kids - by disgusted - United States (Maine)

Today, my mother-in-law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, "I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good for once." I'm a chef. FML

#5448265
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38413) - you deserved it (3135)

On 09/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by badcook (woman) - United States

Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML

#12897093
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31744) - you deserved it (3135)

On 09/04/2010 at 2:52am - misc - by Black Cat 13 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I are divorcing because HE had an affair. He now wants a paternity test. FML

#14024003
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31416) - you deserved it (3135)

On 11/29/2010 at 2:20pm - kids - by preggers - United States (Texas)

Today, I made plans with an old friend that I haven't seen in years. We agreed to meet at a diner and I told him I'd be standing outside. I watched him pull up, look right at me, then do something with his phone. Seconds later, I got a text saying "Sorry, but I'm busy today and can't make it." FML

#15130627
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33121) - you deserved it (3135)

On 02/26/2011 at 8:56pm - misc - by Angela (woman) - United States

Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML

#17078308
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22274) - you deserved it (3135)

On 07/12/2011 at 8:19am - kids - by SaggyBoy135 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my fiancé broke off our engagement after he saw one of my baby pictures. He said our future kids just wouldn't look right. FML

#16976984
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40164) - you deserved it (3135)

On 07/04/2011 at 7:42pm - kids - by K3you - United States (Florida)

Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML

#20438667
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34841) - you deserved it (3135)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:59pm - love - by great. -

Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML

#20485216
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30541) - you deserved it (3135)

On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML

#20509000
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33083) - you deserved it (3135)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03am - kids - by Scarlett (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fiancée broke up with me because I "don't know what I'm doing with my future". I've done four years in the Marines and am in the process of becoming an officer. She has a film degree which she has no interest in, works at the mall, and just moved back in with her dad. FML

#5186849
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44347) - you deserved it (3134)

On 09/11/2009 at 1:11pm - love - by TankTankTank (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my doctor told me my ankle has been fractured since last week. I've been helping drywall the basement, and trying to walk up and down stairs for a week. My husband has been telling me to man up, and it's not that bad. FML

Today, my boyfriend was seated in my section at work. As he sees me his face drops... he's on a date. He had forgotten I work there. I had to serve him and his date, and they didn't leave a tip. FML

#13621862
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45250) - you deserved it (3134)

On 10/28/2010 at 12:27am - love - by heshay - United States (Texas)



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