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Today, it was my grandfather's burial. As the family was about to leave, a great aunt came up to my skinny, tall and pretty cousin and told her, "Stay beautiful and kind." Then, she walked to me and said, "And you, Stay kind." FML

#5942198
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33304) - you deserved it (3189)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:26am - misc - by kthx (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found my underwear in my brother's pillow as well as my vibrator and Victoria's Secret magazines. FML

#6841457
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23613) - you deserved it (3189)

On 12/20/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by VCR (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a club. The only guy who asked me to dance introduced himself as "Bird Dog." FML

#17583731
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23627) - you deserved it (3189)

On 08/26/2011 at 3:35am - love - by EpicMayonnaise (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got into my car after a long shift at work. When I looked in my rear view mirror, a horrifyingly evil face grinned at me from the back window. I leaped out of the car, only to be chased around by two people in clown masks. It turned out to be a prank set up by my co-workers. FML

#18112365
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29955) - you deserved it (3189)

On 10/30/2011 at 3:13pm - work - by Katrin - Norway

Today, I dragged myself to work, suffering from a bad cold. My boss quietly told me to go home and rest, to avoid spreading it around the office. I thought it odd since he dislikes me so much, but I did as he said. He called later in the day to suspend me for leaving work early. FML

#20823652
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50688) - you deserved it (3189)

On 08/06/2013 at 10:44am - work - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. We are on a cruise together. She has already found another room to sleep in. FML

#20899028
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48885) - you deserved it (3189)

On 09/28/2013 at 11:21am - love - by Christian (man) - United States

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

#6842444
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40239) - you deserved it (3188)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML

#17930849
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26056) - you deserved it (3188)

On 10/07/2011 at 9:23pm - work - by Lucas79 - Australia

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

#20007961
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33884) - you deserved it (3188)

On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43194) - you deserved it (3187)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, we were in the car with my puppy, who favours my sister. She had been sat on her lap for a while, when she stood up and climbed onto my lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to my sister. FML

#13082882
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31783) - you deserved it (3186)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by PuppyPeeTimee. - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my boyfriend told me love is like a drug. I started tearing up because this is the most romantic he has been in a while. He then went on to break up with me, telling me that my "prescription is up". FML

#18577154
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30876) - you deserved it (3186)

On 12/22/2011 at 3:09am - love - by Jean - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML

#20554170
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47680) - you deserved it (3186)

On 03/21/2013 at 8:35pm - love - by SmallAngel (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

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