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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found my underwear in my brother's pillow as well as my vibrator and Victoria's Secret magazines. FML

#6841457
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23612) - you deserved it (3188)

On 12/20/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by VCR (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I dragged myself to work, suffering from a bad cold. My boss quietly told me to go home and rest, to avoid spreading it around the office. I thought it odd since he dislikes me so much, but I did as he said. He called later in the day to suspend me for leaving work early. FML

#20823652
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50685) - you deserved it (3188)

On 08/06/2013 at 10:44am - work - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

#20007961
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33884) - you deserved it (3187)

On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43195) - you deserved it (3187)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, we were in the car with my puppy, who favours my sister. She had been sat on her lap for a while, when she stood up and climbed onto my lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to my sister. FML

#13082882
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31779) - you deserved it (3186)

On 09/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by PuppyPeeTimee. - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML

#17930849
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26056) - you deserved it (3186)

On 10/07/2011 at 9:23pm - work - by Lucas79 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me love is like a drug. I started tearing up because this is the most romantic he has been in a while. He then went on to break up with me, telling me that my "prescription is up". FML

#18577154
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30876) - you deserved it (3186)

On 12/22/2011 at 3:09am - love - by Jean - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I discovered that my fiancé had tried to fake his own death because he thought it would be easier than confessing to the affair he was having. FML

#2820060
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67710) - you deserved it (3185)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dog received a christmas card before I did. FML

#6678775
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29056) - you deserved it (3186)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:33am - animals - by amywee (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML

#18689614
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43933) - you deserved it (3185)

On 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was telling my best friend that I was feeling unattractive, and that I never get asked out. As she was trying to make me feel better, we were interrupted by a stranger trying to hit on her. FML

#19769675
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26004) - you deserved it (3185)

On 06/11/2012 at 8:01am - love - by ugly (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

#20505216
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41673) - you deserved it (3185)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML

#20554170
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47677) - you deserved it (3185)

On 03/21/2013 at 8:35pm - love - by SmallAngel (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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