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Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

#19342755
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29928) - you deserved it (3224)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:49am - animals - by uh-oh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a big argument with my girlfriend, after she tried to stop me going home, even though it was already past my curfew. I got home, only to find out I'm grounded for staying out late, and dumped for being "inconsiderate". FML

#20104336
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23816) - you deserved it (3224)

On 10/06/2012 at 2:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML

#21002133
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43047) - you deserved it (3224)

On 12/23/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by GogglesGoggles - United States

Today, I got yelled, screamed, and cursed at by a customer until I was reduced to tears. This was all because I double-checked to make sure she wanted large fries. FML

#21266131
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37018) - you deserved it (3224)

On 09/27/2014 at 12:22am - work - by heretoserve (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to visit my parents. Dad went on a religious tirade, and Mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told Mum to go to her room and pray. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML

#5225291
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35120) - you deserved it (3223)

On 09/13/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after math class, the resident creepy kid approached me and asked me out. I've only spoken to him twice before, so I was creeped out, and I politely declined. He totally lost it, and shouted that I'm a "friend-zoning bitch" before storming out of the room. FML

#20072034
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22356) - you deserved it (3223)

On 09/14/2012 at 8:03pm - love - by wow kid just leave me alone (woman) - United States

Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

#20455625
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33027) - you deserved it (3223)

On 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm - misc - by fucking mafia or what?? (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

#20503190
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27951) - you deserved it (3223)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:55am - love - by BadLuckCarson - United States (Iowa)

Today, my daughter managed to crash my car. It's okay though, the insurance will cover it. However, it won't cover all the items she damaged crashing into a garage sale. FML

#20856229
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39917) - you deserved it (3223)

On 08/27/2013 at 6:17am - kids - by Idontknowwhattodo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I bought a Santa hat. After wearing the hat for a few hours, I noticed a strange lump near the tip of it. I stuck my hand inside to dig out the mysterious object. It was a dead cockroach. FML

#21308445
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31161) - you deserved it (3223)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was stood up on a date. Her excuse? "I had to work out." FML

#14249095
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25039) - you deserved it (3222)

On 12/18/2010 at 3:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

#20833620
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47577) - you deserved it (3222)

On 08/12/2013 at 11:24am - health - by nutfreak (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I rode my new motorcycle to work for the first time. As I accelerated, I felt a sharp pain in my neck. Apparently, poisonous spiders can actually get trapped inside motorbike helmets. Duly noted. FML



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