Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML

#21281374
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35704) - you deserved it (3562)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:20pm - kids - by team hit bella with a car (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to a family counseling session because my parents are getting a divorce. I told the counselor that I feel guilty because I feel like I caused it. She says that there is no way I could have caused it, that it's my parents' problem when my mom interrupts her to say "Yes she did." FML

#6120985
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44535) - you deserved it (3561)

On 11/02/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by problemchild (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a cute guy ditched his date and walked up to me, calling me beautiful. Not knowing how to reply, I just blushed. His date got angry and left. "Sorry. I take that back," he then said. "I was just trying to get rid of her. Thanks anyway." FML

#20906907
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53480) - you deserved it (3561)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:37am - love - by okaythen (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I was dismissed from my job at an unemployment agency. In order to receive financial support from the government I need to be cooperating with a job service provider. They paired me up with the same place I was just fired from. FML

#21101310
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41301) - you deserved it (3561)

On 03/31/2014 at 8:43pm - misc - by awks - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to the store to buy a phone I saw last week. I looked around a little first, then continued to the electronics section. I couldn't find the phone I saw, so I went to leave. Halfway to the exit, I was detained by security and grilled for ages over my "suspicious behaviour". FML

#21104459
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37507) - you deserved it (3561)

On 04/04/2014 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked to my local McDonald's. I spent the last 7 dollars I had on my meal. As I began to walk back to my dorm, I was mugged. I explained to them I had no money, so they stole my food. FML

#1936561
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50093) - you deserved it (3560)

On 05/14/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by Aaron (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mother told me she wanted me to get an exorcism. Yes, she was serious. I'm Jewish. FML

#16999311
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30789) - you deserved it (3560)

On 07/06/2011 at 11:21am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend was introducing me to some business partners. As he was going along telling me their names, when he introduced me, he called me by my best friend's name. FML

#16043135
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41419) - you deserved it (3560)

On 05/04/2011 at 10:50am - love - by ohmylantis (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had an allergic reaction to my deodorant. My armpits wouldn't stop itching, and by the time my shift was over, they were raw and bloody. FML

#18494919
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32706) - you deserved it (3560)

On 12/12/2011 at 3:23pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML

#20434488
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40366) - you deserved it (3560)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by _The__Doctor_ (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

#21302073
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39546) - you deserved it (3560)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to babysit. I was told the parents would be gone when I arrived. I went and started playing with the kids. All of a sudden I heard a scream. I opened the parents' door with a knife in hand to find them having sex. I got paid so adults could get laid. While I was there. 6 ft. away. FML

#1043962
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62935) - you deserved it (3559)

On 04/17/2009 at 12:14am - intimacy - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML

#5579906
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44863) - you deserved it (3559)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington) - moderated by Kevin Nealon



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: