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Today, after finally giving up on the search for my lost dog, I realized that my neighbors had found her and are convinced that she was a stray. They won't give her up and are now mad at me for trying to take my own dog back. FML

#1078631
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68340) - you deserved it (3115)

On 04/18/2009 at 2:45am - animals - by englishtrio (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years saw baby wipes in my bathroom and assumed I had a kid. He broke up with me. I use baby wipes to take off my makeup. FML

#7972550
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31838) - you deserved it (3115)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:41pm - love - by notababymama (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

#12209813
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40462) - you deserved it (3115)

On 07/30/2010 at 4:00pm - work - by MLZ (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28907) - you deserved it (3115)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out I have an incredible fear of butterflies. I discovered this after my mother took me to a butterfly sanctuary for some "mother-daughter bonding time." FML

#19748698
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18569) - you deserved it (3114)

On 06/07/2012 at 7:00am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML

#19869373
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23358) - you deserved it (3114)

On 06/30/2012 at 1:08am - work - by John - United States (New York)

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

#20785565
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46657) - you deserved it (3114)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML

#20984974
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37205) - you deserved it (3114)

On 12/08/2013 at 1:00pm - misc - by FML (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, I went out to a bar with some of my friends. They're all in committed relationships, but every single one of them got hit on. I'm single, and yet again, nobody even said hi to me. FML

#21319659
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31979) - you deserved it (3114)

On 12/18/2014 at 10:34am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my pet lizard eating my other pet lizard. FML

Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant, where the chefs cook the food right in front of you. Our chef tossed an egg in the air, but sadly didn't catch it. Don't worry though, my hair got it instead. FML

#17136219
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28963) - you deserved it (3113)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:24pm - misc - by KatrinaKitten - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my husband if he knew what day it was. His answer was, "garbage day?" It's our six-year anniversary. FML

#19987123
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22762) - you deserved it (3113)

On 07/27/2012 at 10:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML

#20907968
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44129) - you deserved it (3113)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by CelibateHero (man) - United States (Indiana)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

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  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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