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Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML

#19159712
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40163) - you deserved it (3079)

On 02/25/2012 at 9:35am - intimacy - by fmylifebigtime - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in the middle of my online midterm, my computer decided to update and closed out of the test. It can't be retaken. FML

#19927975
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34235) - you deserved it (3079)

On 07/12/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by failure - United States (Minnesota)

Today, someone in my class referred to the September 11th attacks as "Nine-Elevs". FML

#21255951
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36478) - you deserved it (3079)

On 09/10/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by no - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my mom screams like a dying monkey while having sex. Even with my music turned up all the way, I can still hear her through our paper thin walls. FML

#14867901
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35488) - you deserved it (3078)

On 02/06/2011 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it was my birthday. I spent all day in bed, sick with the flu. My boyfriend then broke up with me by text, because he didn't want to risk getting sick by doing it in person. FML

#20838443
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51485) - you deserved it (3078)

On 08/15/2013 at 7:28am - love - by Rachel8896 - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom went snooping through my art bin to "clean out my old drawings". She found numerous nude pieces and accused me of selling porn. My mom mistook and threw out 57 anatomy practice sketches that I worked very very hard on, and ripped up the remainder of my drawings. FML

#4391923
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50408) - you deserved it (3077)

On 08/08/2009 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML

#4196773
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56780) - you deserved it (3077)

On 08/01/2009 at 12:32am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML

#10540841
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28736) - you deserved it (3077)

On 05/15/2010 at 2:27am - misc - by sheridan.ashley (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML

#20690777
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54701) - you deserved it (3077)

On 05/28/2013 at 4:09am - love - by really? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML

#3252753
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58076) - you deserved it (3076)

On 06/26/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by Chedder (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my fiancée broke up with me because I "don't know what I'm doing with my future". I've done four years in the Marines and am in the process of becoming an officer. She has a film degree which she has no interest in, works at the mall, and just moved back in with her dad. FML

#5186849
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44336) - you deserved it (3076)

On 09/11/2009 at 1:11pm - love - by TankTankTank (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, it's my birthday. My best friend called me at work and offered to take me out to lunch. When he went to pay for the meal, his card was declined so I told him not to worry and that I would pay for the birthday meal. He looked at me and said "It's your birthday?" He was serious. FML

#5565703
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33396) - you deserved it (3075)

On 09/30/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by Rockyio (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally had enough money to buy my girlfriend an engagement ring, which I was going to pick up after work. On my way to work, I slid on the ice and crashed into a parked vehicle. The damage to my car is almost twice the amount of the ring. FML

#6536864
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32148) - you deserved it (3075)

On 11/30/2009 at 6:24pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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