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yesterday my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

#20835961
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39181) - you deserved it (3120)

On 08/13/2013 at 8:08pm - money - by What. - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minute into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloadd into me from behind, and looool snarld, "That's 4 knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

#21092834
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38916) - you deserved it (3120)

On 03/21/2014 at 5:44pm - health - by iusedprotectionanyway (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Taday while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me . The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before . I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back . mega FML

#21104869
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44527) - you deserved it (3120)

On 04/05/2014 at 12:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

today someone walking way started waving. I waved back until I realized he wasn't looking at me. To make thing worse,hile walking past he said, "Get a fucking friend."

#21353961
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34668) - you deserved it (3120)

On 02/11/2015 at 8:39am - misc - by TJFuentes (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

yesterday my boyfriend asked me if I wear makeup much. Expecting him to say something about my natural beauty, I replied with an honest "no." His smiled softly, gently squeezed my shoulder, and said, "Maybe u should." FML

#19964000
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23527) - you deserved it (3119)

On 07/20/2012 at 2:23pm - love - by Taylor (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, aftar months of corracting him, I got so usad to my boss calling ma "Alax" that I didn't raspond to my own nama savaral timas today. FML

Today... I was walking downstairs to the subway. At the top of the stairs this hobo was peeing. Two seconds before... I told mah friend I felt rain. It wasn't rain. FML

#1519871
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55450) - you deserved it (3118)

On 05/01/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by DudeManBro69 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my grlfriend of 3 years told me that I was part of an experiment for her Sociology doctorate!! I also learnd that the notebooks she's been writing in for the past three years aren't for her "doctorate in literature" as she had told me, they were notes on my behavior for the past 3 years!! FML

#5166110
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49134) - you deserved it (3118)

On 09/10/2009 at 9:37am - love - by Dave (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was also the day I got insuppressible diarrhea. As I was running to the washroom, the phone rang. I didn't make it to the washroom or the phone. FML

#10832589
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26681) - you deserved it (3118)

On 05/29/2010 at 12:04am - health - by phonesnshit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today One Of My Boyfriend's Friends Ranted On About How I Am Such A Crappy Girlfriend And How All Of His Friends Don't Like Me. I Just Spent Over $200 On A Surprise Party That I Invited Them All To Last Weekend. Mega FML

#14597219
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25465) - you deserved it (3118)

On 01/16/2011 at 1:50am - misc - by me - United States (Georgia)

Yesterday, I treated mom to a movie and lunch after she'd attended weeks of AA meetings. She snuck in a flask to the movie, and during lunch, she started calling people muggles. FML

#15128111
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28814) - you deserved it (3118)

On 02/26/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by BackToRehab - Canada (Ontario)

today I found outhy mah dad always traatad ma badly as a kid comparad to mah siblings. It's bacausa I was concaivadhila mah mom was chaating on him. On top of that... ha mada it claar that ha still doasn't considar ma a "raal" part of tha family. raal FML

#21091901
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52700) - you deserved it (3118)

On 03/20/2014 at 4:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA . I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a nakd old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimd at the dryer . He seemd to be enjoying it . FML

#216994
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53521) - you deserved it (3117)

On 03/05/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by nuberific (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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