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Today, I was hit by a truck while walking to school. It was the driver's fault as I was in a crosswalk. My parents met me at the hospital where I had minor injuries. They began discussing what the insurance money would be spent on. They decided on a second honeymoon to Las Vegas. FML

#2411169
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50907) - you deserved it (2326)

On 05/29/2009 at 7:21pm - money - by screwed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

#1704585
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57044) - you deserved it (2326)

On 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm - misc - by Gumfanatic302 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I am jobless after graduation. Ironic, since when I started college with my education degree, I was congratulated, told of the teacher shortage in my state, and how quickly I would be able to find a job. Three years in, the economy tanks, and the state issues a teacher hiring freeze. FML

#7865579
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21567) - you deserved it (2326)

On 02/04/2010 at 12:02am - work - by FMJoblessL (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up excited to go trick-or-treating, the treat being candy. Instead, my town has officially postponed Halloween due to blackouts. I guess this is where the trick comes in. FML

#18121286
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17984) - you deserved it (2326)

On 10/31/2011 at 3:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I took a girl out to dinner. Halfway through, she sighed and asked if it was all an episode of Disaster Date. FML

#20064691
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18730) - you deserved it (2326)

On 09/09/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by zed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my mother that Americans are not the only people who celebrate Christmas. FML

#20419656
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26304) - you deserved it (2326)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to explain to my mother that faith healing will not work on plumbing. FML

Today, someone wearing dark grey clothes thought it would be a good idea to run in front of my car in the pouring rain. I slammed on my brakes and managed to stop before I'd have turned him into a blood sprinkler. Unfortunately, the person behind me didn't. FML

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

#19548071
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22728) - you deserved it (2325)

On 04/29/2012 at 2:31pm - love - by davincourt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML

#20133872
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15959) - you deserved it (2325)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost to the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML

#20462640
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24816) - you deserved it (2325)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm - misc - by tired - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up with horrible pain in my gut. It got worse and worse, and I started vomiting from the pain. My mom said it was flu and that I needed to "man up." It turned out to be appendicitis, and I'm now typing this from my hospital bed. FML

#20777668
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48233) - you deserved it (2325)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:28pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out the girl I was in love with has a new boyfriend. I blame myself because I believed her when she said she "wasn't ready" for a relationship. FML

#678
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14459) - you deserved it (2324)

On 01/02/2009 at 6:14am - love - by loser doctor - Philippines (Quezon City)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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