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Today, I got my braces off. I also got my tongue pierced. Both by my orthodontist. FML

#18273711
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37657) - you deserved it (3120)

On 11/17/2011 at 4:27pm - health - by OUCH. - United States

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents over dinner. During the meal, he excused himself to the bathroom, and when he didn't come back after a few minutes, I went to check up on him. I ended up finding him in the living room, pocketing a pack of ambien from my mom's bag. FML

#19528563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25721) - you deserved it (3120)

On 04/25/2012 at 6:43pm - love - by anyoi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML

#19636486
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22965) - you deserved it (3120)

On 05/17/2012 at 11:02am - love - by Vero (woman) - Austria (Oberosterreich)

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35639) - you deserved it (3120)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, the love of my life, and long term partner, sat me down and told me that he feels so comfortable in our relationship that he no longer feels the need to have sex with me, and he doesn't think that that will ever change. FML

#20162862
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31799) - you deserved it (3120)

On 11/14/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by nolove - Australia

Today, as I was walking to my car, I noticed a car with a tail light out. Trying to be a good citizen, I walked up to the driver's side door and said "excuse me". The lady then maced me through the open window. FML

#20494408
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27047) - you deserved it (3120)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:45pm - health - by maced face - United States

Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

#20835961
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39178) - you deserved it (3120)

On 08/13/2013 at 8:08pm - money - by What. - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

#21092834
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38913) - you deserved it (3120)

On 03/21/2014 at 5:44pm - health - by iusedprotectionanyway (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

#21104869
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44566) - you deserved it (3120)

On 04/05/2014 at 12:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I went to leave my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML

#21332094
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24687) - you deserved it (3120)

On 01/06/2015 at 3:57pm - misc - by trixanne (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wear makeup much. Expecting him to say something about my natural beauty, I replied with an honest "no." His smiled softly, gently squeezed my shoulder, and said, "Maybe you should." FML

#19964000
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23523) - you deserved it (3119)

On 07/20/2012 at 2:23pm - love - by Taylor (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after months of correcting him, I got so used to my boss calling me "Alex" that I didn't respond to my own name several times today. FML

Today, I was walking downstairs to the subway. At the top of the stairs this hobo was peeing. Two seconds before, I told my friend I felt rain. It wasn't rain. FML

#1519871
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55441) - you deserved it (3118)

On 05/01/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by DudeManBro69 (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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