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Today, my mum got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

#7608108
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37949) - you deserved it (3233)

On 01/27/2010 at 5:20am - misc - by Sundendako (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I moved into my aunt's house. She had a little too much fun in the sixties and now tells everyone about her many imagined conquests, including her church minister and several has-been celebrities. As a plus, I discovered she has a habit of wandering around the house in the nude. FML

#8920023
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21490) - you deserved it (3233)

On 03/08/2010 at 2:31pm - misc - by Kristopher (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, there were reports of a drunk and disorderly male, and I arrived at the scene only to discover a drunk guy having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me and shouted "God save the Queen!" It's then that I remembered it was my job to do something about it. FML

#13444115
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31406) - you deserved it (3233)

On 10/14/2010 at 9:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Reserved

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

#20083358
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22636) - you deserved it (3233)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:12am - animals - by Grauncho - United States (Illinois)

Today, my ex called me up to suggest that we become friends, only so that she could introduce me to her new boyfriend. FML

#21375599
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (163) - you deserved it (3233)

On 03/16/2015 at 10:36am - love - by xswitch74 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I had a basketball game against our rivals. Since the starting guard had a broken ankle, I felt happy that I could finally get playing time and prove that I'm good. Instead I had to run the scoreboard for the game, because the scoreboard guy was absent. FML

#3573001
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38600) - you deserved it (3232)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:49am - misc - by Benchthewarmer (man) - United States

Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML

#17584476
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30399) - you deserved it (3232)

On 08/26/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by christine brown - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got a lecture about being lazy and not being active enough for my age, which ended with, "When I was your age, I was out every night having sex with anything that breathed." Thanks Gran. FML

#19745357
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26075) - you deserved it (3232)

On 06/06/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by BrianTheLion89 - United States

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML

#20525940
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27943) - you deserved it (3232)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:33pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Ards)

Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML

#20556107
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50430) - you deserved it (3232)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:43am - animals - by Hurrikhan - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my mother informed me that we are no longer taking my graduation trip to New York. Instead, she and her group of continuously drunk friends are going to Vegas because, "We could win the jackpot and take you on an even bigger trip to New York!" She's never won anything in her whole life. FML

#20875663
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49773) - you deserved it (3232)

On 09/10/2013 at 11:52am - money - by zcollins - United States (California)

Today, with my name sounding vaguely like 'Turkey' and being in the phonebook for business purposes, people keep calling, offering to stuff me for Thanksgiving. FML

#20973255
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36752) - you deserved it (3232)

On 11/28/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by NotTellingYouMyName (woman) - United States (New York)



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