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Today, I had the most excitement I have felt in the last two months when I went to a drugstore and they had my favourite bandaids. FML

by BananaCoconutty / 05/16/2015 at 12:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML

by Chanman1924 / 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML

by Embarrassed ass. / 10/23/2015 at 12:05am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML

by Noname / 02/19/2009 at 4:47pm / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, I was walking my little sister home from the eye doctor. It was raining out so we were kind of in a hurry to get home. We get home and about half an hour later, the cops show up. Apparently, someone saw me walking my sister and called the cops on me thinking I was a child molester. FML

by omgn00blolz89 / 04/06/2009 at 8:42pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my husband decided to be helpful and do all the laundry, including pre-treating all the stains. He felt that Clorox Clean-Up with Bleach would be the most effective. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2010 at 1:52pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at training with several of my co-workers, I realized I was the only woman. The only thing one of them said to me the entire day was "DUDE!" while staring at my chest as I took my coat off in the morning. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2011 at 9:15pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I had the questionable honor of explaining the difference between "your" and "you're" to my boss, and very diplomatically make her see why her poor grasp of language could affect our credibility as a communication agency. I'm Swedish, and English is my third language. She's American. FML

by grammarnazi-forareason / 07/03/2013 at 2:48am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Work

Today, a customer wanted a military discount for buying two 39 cent Slim Jims. I work at an auto parts store. FML

by luvmypony / 08/26/2013 at 1:51am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I felt flexible in my yoga class. I put my legs in the butterfly position and tried to press them down. Both my hips popped very painfully and I screamed in the middle of a quiet room. FML

by MyLegsHurt / 10/28/2015 at 6:18pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom called me crazy and told me she wanted to put me in a mental hospital. She did this after repeatedly hitting me with a shoe. Why? Because I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste. FML

by whoopsboutthecap / 11/15/2011 at 7:51am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while waiting for the start of a concert, the man behind me decided to pee into a cup. Then the cup tipped over and drained all down my leg. FML

by AllisonMegan98 / 06/25/2014 at 10:54pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mother yelled at me for not doing all of my homework. She got so mad, she tore up a drawing I'd spent over a week working on. That was my art homework. FML

by StillPissedOffAtIrony / 09/06/2014 at 1:25pm / United States (Florida) / Work