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Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML

#20746764
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36300) - you deserved it (3089)

On 06/25/2013 at 4:43pm - misc - by mymomplucksbutthair (woman) - United States

Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML

#21279658
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37158) - you deserved it (3089)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my younger brother helpfully pointed out that I'm the only one in my family of five who is single. He's twelve. FML

#21283583
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34185) - you deserved it (3089)

On 10/23/2014 at 1:18am - love - by 20singleandproudish (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I logged onto facebook to realize that my boyfriend is now listed as single. News to me. FML

#13746
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42814) - you deserved it (3088)

On 02/07/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by klv8 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I returned home to find that my boyfriend's dog had gotten into the garbage and ripped all my used pads to shreds. There's a trail of Always tatters leading to his dog bed, and blood everywhere. My blood. Oh God. FML

#8435501
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31985) - you deserved it (3088)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:24am - animals - by OMGraven (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad's work phone went off, and I thought I should go tell him since he's on call. Turns out no matter how you do it, a 47 year old man at one in the morning will think you are a burglar trying to attack him. FML

#16479065
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26364) - you deserved it (3088)

On 06/03/2011 at 2:25am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34194) - you deserved it (3088)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. On new years, my mom called and asked what kind of champagne I want. FML

#771
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23269) - you deserved it (3087)

On 01/01/2009 at 10:38am - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I called my dad to tell him my boyfriend had proposed to me, and that we're planning on being married this summer. He was surprised at the short engagement, so I said, "Well, we're almost 30." Dad replied, "Wow, I left your mom when I was 35!" So not the conversation for that information, Dad. FML

#9150929
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22518) - you deserved it (3087)

On 03/17/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by rainonmyparade (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on a date with someone I've had a crush on for a long time. It was after midnight, we were chatting in the car and I was close to having my first kiss ever. That is, until a bunch of policemen popped up to arrest my date for being a suspected drug dealer. FML

#8651104
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29593) - you deserved it (3087)

On 02/25/2010 at 10:05pm - love - by ifaisal - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)

Today, I'm the coach of a football team. To celebrate winning a game, they poured a cooler of blue Gatorade over my head. This would've been great, if not for the fact that I'm highly allergic to blue food dye. FML

#16256468
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36635) - you deserved it (3087)

On 05/19/2011 at 7:32pm - health - by blue. -

Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML

#20552364
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34449) - you deserved it (3087)

On 03/20/2013 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

#21204205
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43801) - you deserved it (3087)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)



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