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Today, I was woken up by the massive earthquake in Samoa. I went downstairs to discover that all the hotel staff had fled and abandoned the hotel guests. I was left to run up to higher ground on foot. It was a three hour hike. By the time I got to a safe spot, the tsunami warning was lifted. FML

by greeenbean / 10/02/2009 at 6:41am / Samoa / Miscellaneous

Today, I got back from a 3 and a half week trip to South Africa to do volunteer work with children in townships. My parents forgot to pick me up, and I had to sit there by myself and wait for them, while 80 people of the same organization got loving hugs from their proud parents. FML

by leonieNL / 08/12/2010 at 10:50am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Work

Today, I saw a facebook status that said, 'Wedding today. Ugly people belong together.' I'm getting married today. FML

by ugly / 07/24/2011 at 10:53pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was mugged by three guys. I fought back, and knocked one down. This made them angry, so they stole my clothes as well. FML

by ScottishLad1 / 09/01/2011 at 11:24am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML

by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2012 at 11:56pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML

by Chanman1924 / 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, some jackass in an Iron Man mask nailed me in the head with a quarter while I was helping other customers. Minimum wage isn't worth this crap. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:05am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

by tine / 11/16/2014 at 4:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I had the most excitement I have felt in the last two months when I went to a drugstore and they had my favourite bandaids. FML

by BananaCoconutty / 05/16/2015 at 12:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML

by Noname / 02/19/2009 at 4:47pm / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, I was walking my little sister home from the eye doctor. It was raining out so we were kind of in a hurry to get home. We get home and about half an hour later, the cops show up. Apparently, someone saw me walking my sister and called the cops on me thinking I was a child molester. FML

by omgn00blolz89 / 04/06/2009 at 8:42pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my husband decided to be helpful and do all the laundry, including pre-treating all the stains. He felt that Clorox Clean-Up with Bleach would be the most effective. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2010 at 1:52pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous