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Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended like it never happened. FML

Today, my girlfriend heard a great quote about not letting anyone drag her down. She took it to mean, "break up with your boyfriend." FML

Today, My roommate texted me and warned me to be careful on the stairs leading to our place because they were icy. I got the message. After I fell down an entire flight of stone stairs. FML

#12686
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26798) - you deserved it (3367)

On 02/06/2009 at 11:58pm - misc - by CBM2012 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered that I have developed an allergy to salt water on my face. Now, every time I sweat or cry, I come up in a bright red rash. I am allergic to my own bodily fluids. FML

#4226851
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63755) - you deserved it (3367)

On 08/02/2009 at 8:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found my brand new tropical fish dead in its tank because my boyfriend got drunk last night and decided to pour red wine into the aquarium. FML

#5968472
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33639) - you deserved it (3367)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, to be nice, I baked cookies for my step-mom as a birthday present. I burnt my hand while putting them in the oven, but I'd hoped it would be worth it. When she got home, I gave one for her to try. She took a bite, spit it out, and threw it on the floor, asking if it was a joke or if I was really trying to poison her. FML

#12538079
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30359) - you deserved it (3367)

On 08/15/2010 at 12:05pm - health - by shinee - Singapore

Today, I found out that my entire class, me included, has to rewrite the painfully difficult midterm we wrote last week. All this because the Professor left the exams strewn across her desk. The cleaners thought it was trash and disposed of them. FML

#15665104
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39672) - you deserved it (3367)

On 04/06/2011 at 1:28pm - misc - by HM (woman) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is cheating on me when she was arrested for having sex in public. Not with me though. FML

#17173696
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42865) - you deserved it (3367)

On 07/19/2011 at 3:40am - intimacy - by ken - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38299) - you deserved it (3367)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, while at work, I suddenly went into diabetic shock. As I was nearly passed out on the floor, a customer yelled at me for not getting his coffee in time. FML

#16576364
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41613) - you deserved it (3367)

On 06/09/2011 at 10:25am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my upstairs neighbor was leaving the parking lot, and stopped to wave. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that she was saying goodbye to her cat, who was sitting in the window. FML

#17966931
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23087) - you deserved it (3367)

On 10/12/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by octoberrain - United States

Today, I was in a gas station bathroom attempting to buy a condom from the machine on the wall. A woman who smelled of cat piss walked in, and I got embarrassed so I fled into a stall. She then started a conversation with me about "the good old days" from the next stall over. FML

#19559946
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18591) - you deserved it (3367)

On 05/01/2012 at 7:43pm - misc - by Megannn (woman) - United States

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

#20991671
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42382) - you deserved it (3367)

On 12/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by thank u usa (man) - Germany



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