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Today, my girlfriend admitted that she "probably wasn't even sober" when I asked her out and she said yes. Our almost 2-year relationship is the longest drunken mistake ever. FML

#21260142
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34997) - you deserved it (3199)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by KayEffEh (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in class the guy next to me was talking to a girl across the room using gestures to help get across his message. Apparently, pointing at me is the best way to say "ugly." FML

#1979778
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48932) - you deserved it (3198)

On 05/16/2009 at 1:34pm - misc - by uglyguy252 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML

Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML

#18414489
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21818) - you deserved it (3198)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by bad blood, no shit (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML

#19428378
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24180) - you deserved it (3198)

On 04/08/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by Jordan - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML

#21281599
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38313) - you deserved it (3198)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by ColdStones (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I woke up to find that my acne has lined itself beautifully in a perfect 'L' shape in the centre of my forehead. FML

Today, I was getting everything ready for mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new bed sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML

#21294602
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46132) - you deserved it (3198)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:09am - intimacy - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my boss asked me "can I give you some constructive criticism?". I said yes. He tells me "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

#576
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26267) - you deserved it (3197)

On 12/22/2008 at 11:18pm - work - by crapules - Sent from mobile version

Today, my sister teased me about being a mistake baby. When I told my mom what my sister said, her response was "I still love you anyway". FML

#21737
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34885) - you deserved it (3197)

On 02/10/2009 at 6:41pm - misc - by melissa (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom asked me if I had an eating problem because I've been eating less. I only started eating less because she told me I ate too much. FML

#26986
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35651) - you deserved it (3197)

On 02/11/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by hungry - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a phone call for a interview at Target at 4:30 pm. I got super excited, so I got dressed up and headed over there. I tell the manager that I am there for my interview. He doesn't know what I'm talking about. My friends had prank called me. FML

#5454109
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37085) - you deserved it (3197)

On 09/24/2009 at 8:11pm - work - by Pho_Rheal (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, is the first weekend I have off this summer. Instead of letting me see my friends, my dad printed out a practice SAT exam. I've already taken the SAT. He just "doesn't want me to get rusty". FML

#11312975
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31844) - you deserved it (3197)

On 06/19/2010 at 2:53pm - misc - by Classicmen - United States (Maryland)



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