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Today, I was taking the AP Biology exam. It’s strictly timed, yet my proctor spent 30 minutes (a third of the time we have) talking about his sexual relationship with his wife, who was also proctoring. I don’t know how I did on the test, but I now know my proctor had erectile dysfunction. FML

#1842179
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59899) - you deserved it (3129)

On 05/11/2009 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by JSF1234 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered that I have developed an allergy to salt water on my face. Now, every time I sweat or cry, I come up in a bright red rash. I am allergic to my own bodily fluids. FML

#4226851
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60404) - you deserved it (3129)

On 08/02/2009 at 8:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my mom still hasn't gotten over the novelty of our brand new microwave. We've been eating hot pockets for nearly a week now. FML

#17281268
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25198) - you deserved it (3129)

On 07/27/2011 at 7:45pm - misc - by ladytyy - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML

#20629727
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37459) - you deserved it (3129)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:20am - animals - by conbon123 - United States (Oregon)

Today, to be nice, I baked cookies for my step-mom as a birthday present. I burnt my hand while putting them in the oven, but I'd hoped it would be worth it. When she got home, I gave one for her to try. She took a bite, spit it out, and threw it on the floor, asking if it was a joke or if I was really trying to poison her. FML

#12538079
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28022) - you deserved it (3128)

On 08/15/2010 at 12:05pm - health - by shinee - Singapore

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

#13459944
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22045) - you deserved it (3128)

On 10/15/2010 at 3:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, during a moment of silence in front of the entire high school during my band concert, I managed to hit the stand with my flute, and loudly scrambled to catch it before it fell over. I've never had so many people look at me. FML

#21309681
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25930) - you deserved it (3128)

On 12/01/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by Silverfeathery -

Today, my boyfriend took me to a very elegant and expensive restaurant to celebrate our anniversary. When it came to the check, I volunteered to pitch in half, which he rejected by saying "I got it". Little did I know was that "I got it" was short for "I got your credit card". FML

#20868496
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42680) - you deserved it (3127)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:24am - misc - by IGOTIT (woman) - United States (California)

Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML

#21216504
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36830) - you deserved it (3127)

On 07/21/2014 at 5:15pm - work - by notpayedenoughforthisshit (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

#8587618
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25069) - you deserved it (3126)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by disgusted - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was playing rugby. I was tackled very hard at the end of a play, and I got up to find my head bleeding profusely. Not one person offered to drive me to the ER. I had to drive myself to get six stitches in the face. FML

#7771454
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27383) - you deserved it (3126)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was sitting on a plane waiting for everyone to get on. A cute guy around my age had the option of sitting next to me or an old guy. He gave me a horrified look and immediately sat next to the old man. I got to sit next to his mother. She evil eyed me the whole time. FML

#13567439
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24109) - you deserved it (3126)

On 10/23/2010 at 8:50pm - misc - by ugly me - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that my best friend is moving to Arkansas, and my girlfriend is going with him. FML

#12386734
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40015) - you deserved it (3126)

On 08/08/2010 at 4:49am - love - by LadyGagasLOVER (man) - United States (Texas)



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