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Today, I went to the grocery store with my mom's boyfriend. We were in the bread aisle when he picked up a loaf that was in my hand, and said, "No, no, you have to FEEL the bread," and started rubbing it all over his body. He's moving in next week. FML

#14589088
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30833) - you deserved it (3242)

On 01/15/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33606) - you deserved it (3242)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to beat him up so he could look tough around his friends. When I just stared at him, he added, "Please don't break anything though. Nothing too serious." FML

#17845836
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23728) - you deserved it (3242)

On 09/27/2011 at 4:28am - health - by toughbf (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I sneezed so hard that my head shot forward and smashed against his, sending his head backwards against the wall. He ended up with a concussion, and I still feel like someone hit me over the head with a chair. FML

#21406759
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25742) - you deserved it (3242)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:46pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

#900029
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69130) - you deserved it (3241)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:35am - kids - by mandy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I let my mother use my computer for school work. Later that day my mom asks me what's wrong with the computer. I look at it, only seeing a "Welcome to Windows XP" screen. She said that she saw a blue screen and pressed L and C when it asked her to. My mom managed to clear my hard drive. FML

#5843241
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31596) - you deserved it (3241)

On 10/15/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by artiemilano (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe... with my foot. FML

#12583063
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32483) - you deserved it (3241)

On 08/17/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Bruce (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I took a cough drop to soothe my sore throat, only to choke, gag, and spend the next ten minutes at the point of vomiting because the bitter lozenge got stuck in my windpipe. FML

#13251603
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20637) - you deserved it (3241)

On 09/29/2010 at 5:29pm - health - by bitter cherry - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

#12109391
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35241) - you deserved it (3240)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm - work - by anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after being laid off for over a year, I got turned down for an unpaid internship. I can't even get people to let me work for free. FML

#16561616
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31188) - you deserved it (3240)

On 06/08/2011 at 12:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a long conversation with my fiancé about how smoking menthol cigarettes is not a substitute for brushing your teeth. He still isn't convinced. FML

#19202074
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23368) - you deserved it (3240)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:54am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally convinced my mum to take me to a psychologist. As soon as he sat me down and asked me how I was doing, my mum burst into tears and went on a rant about how her life is terrible and she regrets everything. I was asked to sit in the waiting room. She used up my whole hour. FML

#20787656
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48609) - you deserved it (3240)

On 07/17/2013 at 1:22am - health - by :-( - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML

#21009908
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40609) - you deserved it (3240)

On 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by LeaveHimAlone (man) - United States (Maryland)



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