Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML

#4293059
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48008) - you deserved it (3200)

On 08/04/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by andi0804 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to console my drunk dad over his girlfriend breaking up with him. When he said, "You know why we broke up don't you?" I replied, "Yeah, you were fighting a lot, right?" Wrong. I then had to explain to him that his erectile dysfunction wasn't something to be embarrassed about. FML

#15879930
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34311) - you deserved it (3200)

On 04/21/2011 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I'm a nanny. After the kids went to bed the dog wouldn't stop barking violently unless I held the end of a blanket for him to hump. I need a raise. FML

#16738818
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33058) - you deserved it (3200)

On 06/19/2011 at 1:19am - work - by fattymcbutterpants - United States

Today, after a long therapy session, in which I poured out all my feelings of how happy and in love I am with whom I believe to be my soul-mate, my shrink asked me if I was sure this guy wasn't a figment of my imagination. FML

#18576133
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25230) - you deserved it (3200)

On 12/22/2011 at 12:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML

#19908748
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29873) - you deserved it (3200)

On 07/08/2012 at 7:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, after I have spent $3,000 dollars in preparations to move in with my girlfriend of 2 and 1/2 years, she confesses she's a mental patient who stole someone elses identity. She was telling the truth. FML

#5811757
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36778) - you deserved it (3199)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by IMayBeAFool (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML

#6952293
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17970) - you deserved it (3199)

On 12/26/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while coming back from skiing, a woman asked me if I could help her carry her stroller. I put my skis down and helped her. When I came back to pick my skis up, I saw two guys running away with my gear. You try chasing someone while wearing ski boots. FML

Today, after I spent two hours trying to teach my girlfriend to play sudoku, she broke up with me, tearfully claiming that I'd made up a fake, imaginary game to make her feel stupid. FML

#20167793
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31334) - you deserved it (3199)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend admitted that she "probably wasn't even sober" when I asked her out and she said yes. Our almost 2-year relationship is the longest drunken mistake ever. FML

#21260142
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34997) - you deserved it (3199)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by KayEffEh (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in class the guy next to me was talking to a girl across the room using gestures to help get across his message. Apparently, pointing at me is the best way to say "ugly." FML

#1979778
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48938) - you deserved it (3198)

On 05/16/2009 at 1:34pm - misc - by uglyguy252 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML

#18414489
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21816) - you deserved it (3198)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by bad blood, no shit (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML

#19428378
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24177) - you deserved it (3198)

On 04/08/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by Jordan - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: