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Today, I was snowboarding when a skier cut me off, resulting in me colliding with a 12 year old girl. The girl was totally fine, and I was alright except for a slight nose bleed. I apologized to the girl, then her mom hit me over the back with a ski pole as I snowboarded away. FML

by kerdersty / 05/29/2011 at 11:27pm / Canada / Health

Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 10:41am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I decided to go to a therapy group to help with my anxiety and to meet people who felt similar. I joked with my friend that no one would turn up as people might feel anxious about going. I was right. I was the only one there. FML

by all by myself / 04/14/2014 at 7:34pm / Ireland (Cork) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was delivering pizza in the rain. A woman answered the door, saw me soaking wet and said, "Wow this rain is terrible, it must be horrible to be out delivering in it." She then tipped me 21 cents. FML

by ronniewciv / 12/30/2010 at 2:48am / Work

Today, I after getting off the bus, I realized that the man I was talking to was distracting me so his "buddy" could steal my wallet. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 1:32am / United States / Money

Today, four hours before a test, I received an email from my professor saying that the test had been canceled. When I checked my email again before bed, I found another email from my professor saying that his email had been hacked and the test was was still on. FML

by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 1:32pm / United States (Puerto Rico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked at the toilet paper after I wiped and saw a spider on it. It was still wiggling its legs. FML

by yikes / 04/21/2012 at 4:36am / United States / Animals

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

by WetWalking / 03/21/2013 at 9:31am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML

by anonymous / 11/12/2015 at 7:00pm / Netherlands / Health

Today, I told my 10 year old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

by NVP / 01/18/2009 at 9:30am / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me for a chick I shared a hospital room with for 2 months. I introduced them. FML

by anonymous / 10/12/2011 at 2:11am / Canada / Love

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 4:08am / United States (Wyoming) / Intimacy

Today, I had to wake up at 4am because my boss set an important business meeting for first thing in the morning. After making sure everything was ready, I went to work. My boss ended up oversleeping and moved the meeting to tomorrow. FML