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Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML

#21346789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29487) - you deserved it (3343)

On 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, the amount of spiders in my house has gotten so bad that it's become routine to shake out any blankets or towels before using them. FML

#21422575
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26578) - you deserved it (3343)

On 06/07/2015 at 11:13pm - animals - by terrified - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I finally had enough money to buy my girlfriend an engagement ring, which I was going to pick up after work. On my way to work, I slid on the ice and crashed into a parked vehicle. The damage to my car is almost twice the amount of the ring. FML

#6536864
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34931) - you deserved it (3342)

On 11/30/2009 at 6:24pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was reading to a child during nap time because she woke up crying. She calmed down right after I began reading, but soon started crying again. I was confused until I felt something warm and wet on my leg. She peed on me. FML

#13728645
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24023) - you deserved it (3342)

On 11/05/2010 at 6:02pm - work - by Username - France

Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that there was an emergency and I should come home immediately. I took my last personal day of the month and drove the half-hour home. The emergency? The cat had vomited on the comforter. FML

#17901158
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28813) - you deserved it (3342)

On 10/04/2011 at 12:48am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got a call from my parents' divorce lawyer. When I answered the phone, she thought I was my mother and told me the details about my parent's divorce. I'm a 13-year-old boy who sounds like a woman and just learned that my parents are separating. FML

#4374791
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61710) - you deserved it (3341)

On 08/07/2009 at 11:57pm - misc - by madaskueuchiha (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a my neighbor being mugged on the street. I wanted to help, so I tried to yank her purse from the mugger's hands. I guess my neighbor didn't see me clearly, because she thought I was another mugger and kicked my directly in the happy sacks. FML

#6452828
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30866) - you deserved it (3341)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I dropped my remote behind the bed and went to reach for it. Instead of the remote, I grabbed hold of a rat carcass that must have got in when builders were working in my bathroom several weeks ago. FML

#14221771
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30111) - you deserved it (3341)

On 12/16/2010 at 6:54am - misc - by xxmollyxx (woman) - Sweden

Today, after a two week holiday, I'm returning to work exhausted. I had nightmares about work every single night. FML

#14444191
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22347) - you deserved it (3341)

On 01/02/2011 at 9:58pm - work - by sleepy (woman) - Norway

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

#8994102
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23010) - you deserved it (3341)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:44am - health - by captainkevineff - United States

Today, I was taking a nap in our country house. I was sick with a fever of 101.3. When I woke up, I see that my family had left to go back to the apartment. They forgot me. FML

#16543151
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34394) - you deserved it (3341)

On 06/07/2011 at 6:27am - misc - by Sickinbed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandmother updated her will. Previously, it denied inheritance to family members with non-white spouses, and any mixed-raced children. Now it does the same with politically correct terminology. She then bragged about how accepting she is in front of my Korean husband and our daughter. FML

#17336031
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31822) - you deserved it (3341)

On 08/01/2011 at 8:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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