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Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML

#19207356
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22521) - you deserved it (3368)

On 03/03/2012 at 3:27am - health - by fingerhut - United States (California)

Today, I made my brother go to the grocery store to get some frozen pizzas. Ten minutes after he left, the power cut out. Still no power. Still hungry. FML

#19495947
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17754) - you deserved it (3368)

On 04/19/2012 at 2:45pm - misc - by noooo!!! - United States

Today, my boyfriend of seven months and I were looking at some pictures on his iPad. I saw a picture of a kid of about two years old that looked a little like him. I jokingly said, "What, is that your son?" Imagine my surprise when he said that it was. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML

#21002970
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40137) - you deserved it (3368)

On 12/23/2013 at 9:48pm - love - by .... (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to go all-natural and go to work without any makeup on. My boss swore I was on drugs, which I guess had absolutely nothing to do with the completely "random" drug test I had to take later in the day. FML

#21361118
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32964) - you deserved it (3368)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:36pm - work - by vaylosa (woman) -

Today, I bought my mom a gift certificate for a spa treatment for two so we could spend some quality time together. She took my sister. FML

#1814886
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61704) - you deserved it (3367)

On 05/10/2009 at 2:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is cheating on me when she was arrested for having sex in public. Not with me though. FML

#17173696
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42837) - you deserved it (3367)

On 07/19/2011 at 3:40am - intimacy - by ken - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend sent out a mass text to everyone on her contact list. She's getting married in a month. I didn't propose to her. FML

#16149658
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41177) - you deserved it (3367)

On 05/12/2011 at 9:09pm - love - by Whosthegroom (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38278) - you deserved it (3367)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML

#17046646
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30083) - you deserved it (3367)

On 07/09/2011 at 11:12pm - health - by ilovedirt - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went to a local bar for a speed dating event. The first person I hooked up with took one look at my face, burst into laughter, and walked out of the bar practically doubling over. FML

#21000904
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38381) - you deserved it (3367)

On 12/22/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by Isitreallythatbad, (woman) - United States

Today, my sister broke up with her boyfriend of 4 years because he hadn't "popped" the question. I've just spent the last 2 months helping him plan the perfect proposal. FML

#5312576
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46833) - you deserved it (3366)

On 09/17/2009 at 1:44pm - love - by Sadtimes - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was excited to have a window seat on my three hour flight to New York. When I got to my row, I noticed the screaming newborn occupying the seat in front of me, and a pair of toddlers behind me. I then looked to my seat to find I have no window. FML

#15351755
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30994) - you deserved it (3366)

On 03/17/2011 at 12:56pm - misc - by lalalalalala - United States (Texas)



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