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Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

#4081805
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63664) - you deserved it (3251)

On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML

#6976804
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26591) - you deserved it (3251)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my sister and I drove 800 miles with her five-year-old, her two-year-old, and her two dogs. The two-year-old got carsick five times, adding an extra three hours to the trip. The kickers? My sister is sympathy spewer and neither of them chews food very well. FML

#12097515
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25354) - you deserved it (3251)

On 07/25/2010 at 2:17am - kids - by longdrive (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I caught my dad eating the dog treats I'd bought for my dog. The only thing he could say was "These are really good, no wonder the dog is so obedient. Wanna try one?" FML

#13684464
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23393) - you deserved it (3251)

On 11/02/2010 at 3:13am - animals - by treats - Singapore

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29784) - you deserved it (3251)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML

#20929509
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39529) - you deserved it (3251)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:24pm - health - by ouch.... (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom had big news. I've been trying to get her to quit smoking because of second hand smoke for 20 years. She learned today that second hand smoke severely affects animals as well. Her big news? She's quitting. She doesn't want to hurt the dog. FML

#1296374
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60803) - you deserved it (3250)

On 04/24/2009 at 6:23pm - health - by whatthehell (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered my boyfriend has a thing for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant though, my roommate is. FML

#10629274
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35876) - you deserved it (3250)

On 05/19/2010 at 4:19pm - love - by Amy - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss called me into his office. Expecting a long overdue promotion, I hurried in. Instead, he told me he thought I would be perfect to take his son on a pity date, because he is at a suicide risk from depression. FML

#16338194
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34553) - you deserved it (3250)

On 05/25/2011 at 1:21am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, 60 guests for my wedding were supposed to arrive to the Bahamas. The first and only hurricane of the season decided to crash my wedding, stranding my mom, maid of honor and best man. No one will be able to attend my wedding, except the other drunken hotel guests. FML

#20133630
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21542) - you deserved it (3250)

On 10/25/2012 at 11:58pm - misc - by sadbride - Bahamas (New Providence)

Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML

#17048924
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33542) - you deserved it (3249)

On 07/10/2011 at 2:03am - misc - by ugly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months got upset and frustrated with me because he had yet to meet my mom. I'd told him on our first date that she passed away 4 years ago. FML

#20736145
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50791) - you deserved it (3249)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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