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Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

#21300331
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32086) - you deserved it (3320)

On 11/16/2014 at 9:26pm - misc - by no - United States

Today, I had a toothache and applied some numbing gel to soothe the pain. Too much came out and made my whole mouth numb. A man came into my work, thought I was making fun of his lisp, and stormed out really upset. He later called to complain about me. The boss just called me to his office. FML

#13688045
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24544) - you deserved it (3319)

On 11/02/2010 at 1:20pm - work - by speechless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300 pound man walked out, shook his head, and said "I'm sorry" to me. FML

#13675906
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34479) - you deserved it (3319)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm - misc - by mr_p - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me because he wanted some independence. He moved back into his parents house. FML

#17008164
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33003) - you deserved it (3319)

On 07/07/2011 at 12:04am - love - by independence (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I started my new job as a teacher. Worried about how I looked, I asked a coworker if I looked okay. She said, "You look fine. Just like a normal high school kid." I spent the next half hour convincing her that I was not a student, but a teacher. FML

#17569578
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26252) - you deserved it (3319)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:33pm - work - by Meagan smith - United States (Colorado)

Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML

#19818500
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25690) - you deserved it (3319)

On 06/20/2012 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I fainted on the sidewalk. When I woke up, I was still lying on the sidewalk, people were stepping over me and my purse was gone. FML

#5676795
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57071) - you deserved it (3318)

On 10/06/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by blackedout (woman) - Singapore

Today, my parents informed that the man I am going to marry made the newspaper, on page twelve. He is listed as a fugitive and there is a warrant out for his arrest. FML

#19982796
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26033) - you deserved it (3318)

On 07/25/2012 at 1:27am - misc - by strangebeans (woman) - United States

Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excited. Until I realized it was my dad, feeling sorry for me. FML

#20646182
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42807) - you deserved it (3318)

On 05/06/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by sobasics - United States

Today, I spoke to my dad for the first time in over a year. I've been volunteering in Mongolia, I have no running water, freeze my ass off everyday and communication with anyone who speaks English is scarce. One of the first things my father said to me was, "out of sight, out of mind." FML

#5183635
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32188) - you deserved it (3317)

On 09/11/2009 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous - Mongolia (Ulaanbaatar)

Today, my husband invited a couple of his college friends over for dinner. While we were in the middle of eating, one of them asked loudly, "Hey, whatever happened to that fat bitch you dated in your third year?" We've been dating since his second year. FML

#14545720
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34742) - you deserved it (3317)

On 01/11/2011 at 2:06pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

#8841387
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38414) - you deserved it (3317)

On 03/05/2010 at 7:54am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years old. FML

#20848790
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53273) - you deserved it (3317)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:48am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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