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Today, I had a meeting with the CEO about a promising job with good pay and benefits. Upon meeting, we immediately recognized each other. He was someone I used to make fun of in school all the time. He responded by refusing to interview me and had security throw me out by force. Karma bites. FML

#5527789
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8573) - you deserved it (105017)

On 09/28/2009 at 2:31pm - work - by SucksToBeMe (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML

#3593613
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13122) - you deserved it (104606)

On 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

#5291551
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9129) - you deserved it (104538)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from mobile version

Today, I thought it would be funny to jump in the pool while holding my cat. I am currently in the hospital due to the severe cuts on my face and throat. FML

#16725871
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9643) - you deserved it (104441)

On 06/18/2011 at 6:32am - health - by princev - United States

Today, I went to Starbucks to get coffee. The employees told me that there was no more coffee. I started cursing at them and told them that I am in a really big hurry, and that I need coffee every day. They had been yelling back the whole time. Little did I realize, they were saying April Fool's. FML

#757455
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9079) - you deserved it (104239)

On 04/01/2009 at 10:36pm - misc - by lisa321 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML

#3171595
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18688) - you deserved it (104171)

On 06/24/2009 at 11:33am - love - by steven (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

#3016666
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16054) - you deserved it (104051)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML

#204444
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22816) - you deserved it (103921)

On 03/04/2009 at 2:03am - intimacy - by saddude (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I had hooked up with this girl and had finally lulled her asleep. I didn't want to stay so I quietly managed to get my clothes back on and get out the door without waking her. I made it all the way out of her building and to my car before I realized I had forgotten my keys. FML

#911522
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13723) - you deserved it (103393)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:38am - intimacy - by Smooth (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML

#4443952
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8270) - you deserved it (103283)

On 08/11/2009 at 2:42am - misc - by A.L.Woody - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was walking down the street when a homeless man asked me for some spare change. I told him I didn't have any. I then tripped. Not only spilling the soda I was drinking all over myself, but also spilling the spare change I had from buying it. FML

#187385
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15186) - you deserved it (103099)

On 03/02/2009 at 7:11pm - money - by hlev24 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML

#252691
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14721) - you deserved it (102927)

On 03/09/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by collegegirl90 - United States (Texas)

Today, while getting my hair done, I was annoyed that the beautician was not paying attention while straightening my hair. After asking her three times to watch what she was doing, I grabbed the iron and said "let me do it, you're going to burn me!". I then burned two layers of skin off my ear. FML

#865761
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8682) - you deserved it (102510)

On 04/08/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by jerkgirl (woman) - United States (Alabama)



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