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Today, I was messing around on my laptop by drawing on the screen with a marker pen. When it came time to clean it off, it wouldn't budge. Now I have a full beard and mustache etched permanently on my computer screen. FML

#14179571
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7625) - you deserved it (117754)

On 12/12/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by dumbass1991 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

#748414
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20838) - you deserved it (117410)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm - health - by nic (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML

#16997621
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8761) - you deserved it (117309)

On 07/06/2011 at 5:17am - health - by Fmylife (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance man was mowing the grass within eyeshot. I figured I'd leave the blinds open and give him a little peek of the goods. Later I found a note on my window saying, 'Next time, close the blinds'. FML

#1021502
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22457) - you deserved it (117147)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had a rude awakening after a traffic accident the day before. I'd fled the scene to avoid having to pay hefty damage fines. I would have gotten away with it too, if my license plate hadn't fallen off and incriminated me. FML

#14578612
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8202) - you deserved it (116767)

On 01/14/2011 at 2:43pm - money - by calidumbass - United States

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

#5811871
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10446) - you deserved it (116750)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my teacher was giving a lecture about human genetics and how they are passed on to children. She projected a large picture of a baby on to the screen in the front of the room. I then joked about how this ugly baby must have some very unattractive parents. It was her baby. FML

#627489
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18572) - you deserved it (116720)

On 03/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by biggmouth - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

#2987164
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27059) - you deserved it (116617)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to lie to my dentist about how often I brush my teeth. I honestly don't remember the last time I did. FML

#6048206
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8627) - you deserved it (116133)

On 10/28/2009 at 10:54pm - health - by mintyfresh (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to see if electric dog collars work on human necks. They do. FML

#5769209
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9125) - you deserved it (115806)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:40am - health - by zappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML

#20712154
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20579) - you deserved it (115755)

On 06/07/2013 at 6:00pm - money - by Anonymous - United States



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