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Today, my teacher was giving a lecture about human genetics and how they are passed on to children. She projected a large picture of a baby on to the screen in the front of the room. I then joked about how this ugly baby must have some very unattractive parents. It was her baby. FML

#627489
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17797) - you deserved it (114049)

On 03/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by biggmouth - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

#2987164
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26014) - you deserved it (113918)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I decided to see if electric dog collars work on human necks. They do. FML

#5769209
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8772) - you deserved it (113883)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:40am - health - by zappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML

#20712154
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20232) - you deserved it (113844)

On 06/07/2013 at 6:00pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, we had some family over. A nasty need to wank seized me when I saw her: my 17-year-old cousin. I went to my parents' unoccupied bedroom. My sister's baby walkie-talkie was switched on, and the whole family heard me. FML

#37
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25307) - you deserved it (113778)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by VIVI -

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

#318197
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19292) - you deserved it (113717)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:05am - love - by DSM (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I had to lie to my dentist about how often I brush my teeth. I honestly don't remember the last time I did. FML

#6048206
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8201) - you deserved it (113612)

On 10/28/2009 at 10:54pm - health - by mintyfresh (man) - United States (California)

Today, I sat next to an attractive punk/rock guy on a plane. I decided to try to impress by playing music I thought he would like. I clicked The Who and opened a large window with the album cover, so he could see. The track then shuffled, and he was face to with a giant image of Miley Cyrus. FML

#333328
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16534) - you deserved it (113516)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:22am - love - by UH-OH (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my friends and me had a little water balloon fight and somehow it led to throwing water balloons at cars. We all decided to hit a car all at once, after one came by we all hit it. The car stopped and started flashing bright blue lights. We ended up hitting an off-duty police car. FML

#616637
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11718) - you deserved it (113311)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by AzNFoo (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32903) - you deserved it (113189)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML

#16997621
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8062) - you deserved it (113100)

On 07/06/2011 at 5:17am - health - by Fmylife (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML

#14747577
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9519) - you deserved it (112391)

On 01/28/2011 at 8:06pm - love - by peeoncarl1111 - United States



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