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Today, I had to come back home early from my holidays. Why? I had asked my grandmother to water my plants, some of which are illegal. Instead of doing it herself, she asked her neighbor... who is a cop. FML

#4330771
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20696) - you deserved it (113611)

On 08/06/2009 at 8:27am - misc - by Cowan - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, I was house sitting by myself and I texted my mom saying how thankful I was that she was trusting me and not checking up on me. That night I threw a party at the house. My mom showed up to check on me because my text was "suspicious". FML

#4105685
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7648) - you deserved it (113574)

On 07/28/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by idiot (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML

#16495261
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11378) - you deserved it (113569)

On 06/04/2011 at 5:36am - love - by PizzaBoySwag (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML

#17367544
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8686) - you deserved it (113481)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:28pm - money - by Joe - United States (Florida)

Today, we had some family over. A nasty need to wank seized me when I saw her: my 17-year-old cousin. I went to my parents' unoccupied bedroom. My sister's baby walkie-talkie was switched on, and the whole family heard me. FML

#37
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25231) - you deserved it (113308)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by VIVI -

Today, my friends and me had a little water balloon fight and somehow it led to throwing water balloons at cars. We all decided to hit a car all at once, after one came by we all hit it. The car stopped and started flashing bright blue lights. We ended up hitting an off-duty police car. FML

#616637
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11664) - you deserved it (112901)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by AzNFoo (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32835) - you deserved it (112810)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I have a cold. Trying to clear out my stuffy nose, I tried putting mouthwash in my nose. Thinking it was an awesome idea, I put some more in. I then starting screaming in pain due to the extreme burning in my nostrils. FML

#16997621
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8041) - you deserved it (112756)

On 07/06/2011 at 5:17am - health - by Fmylife (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

#318197
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18711) - you deserved it (112302)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:05am - love - by DSM (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

#18217676
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9108) - you deserved it (112157)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

#3019033
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11736) - you deserved it (111880)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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