Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

#497309
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31731) - you deserved it (115895)

On 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Stacy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mistress called my wife on the phone. FML

#524
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7342) - you deserved it (115817)

On 12/16/2008 at 12:20am - misc - by surfdown - Sent from mobile version

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

#18217676
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9494) - you deserved it (115021)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got an acceptance later to a great boarding school in India for my senior year of high school. I sent them a letter telling them I wouldn't go, because I just got back with my ex-boyfriend. I just got a text from my boyfriend. Guess who's my ex again? FML

#2344396
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18065) - you deserved it (114977)

On 05/27/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by tarini (woman) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

#748414
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20037) - you deserved it (114750)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm - health - by nic (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML

#90754
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17395) - you deserved it (114056)

On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my teacher was giving a lecture about human genetics and how they are passed on to children. She projected a large picture of a baby on to the screen in the front of the room. I then joked about how this ugly baby must have some very unattractive parents. It was her baby. FML

#627489
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17770) - you deserved it (113915)

On 03/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by biggmouth - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML

#16495261
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11407) - you deserved it (113886)

On 06/04/2011 at 5:36am - love - by PizzaBoySwag (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

#2987164
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25980) - you deserved it (113828)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to come back home early from my holidays. Why? I had asked my grandmother to water my plants, some of which are illegal. Instead of doing it herself, she asked her neighbor... who is a cop. FML

#4330771
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20719) - you deserved it (113810)

On 08/06/2009 at 8:27am - misc - by Cowan - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML

#17367544
436 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8700) - you deserved it (113720)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:28pm - money - by Joe - United States (Florida)

Today, we had some family over. A nasty need to wank seized me when I saw her: my 17-year-old cousin. I went to my parents' unoccupied bedroom. My sister's baby walkie-talkie was switched on, and the whole family heard me. FML

#37
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25274) - you deserved it (113619)

On 10/25/2008 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by VIVI -

Today, my friends and me had a little water balloon fight and somehow it led to throwing water balloons at cars. We all decided to hit a car all at once, after one came by we all hit it. The car stopped and started flashing bright blue lights. We ended up hitting an off-duty police car. FML

#616637
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11696) - you deserved it (113161)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by AzNFoo (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: