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Sunday 2 August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while volunteering at my local animal shelter, I was asked to clean the cat room. This entailed taking each cat out of its cage by hand and cleaning the inside. They forgot to mention that some of the cats were feral. I now look like I belly flopped into a cactus. FML

Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for smiling and laughing too much. Last week, he reprimanded me for not smiling and laughing enough. FML

#21449263
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22206) - you deserved it (1474)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while waiting for an interview at the career that I've been spending months tailoring my résumé for, I was thrown up on by my only competitor. Guess who got the job. FML

#21448834
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22683) - you deserved it (1464)

On 07/28/2015 at 10:55pm - work - by smellslikeahangover - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML

#21450116
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17303) - you deserved it (1453)

On 07/31/2015 at 4:48pm - misc - by smf_ds - Portugal (Porto)

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. He didn't break down into tears, or say he'd made a huge mistake, or even apologise. No, he just looked up and said "Bugger." FML

#21450122
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18498) - you deserved it (1446)

On 07/31/2015 at 5:04pm - love - by single and unbuggered (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, as if having an old man shit on the floor of the busy restaurant I work at wasn't bad enough, my manager made a video commentating over the camera footage of me discovering said giant pile of shit, and shared it with the entire staff. This is going to haunt me forever. FML

Today, I, along with two cops and another paramedic had to fight to pin down some total scum-sucker. He was high out of his mind on god knows what, in his underwear, screaming like a maniac outside someone else's house at 2 in the morning. I don't get paid nearly enough for this shit. FML

#21450305
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13360) - you deserved it (1413)

On 08/01/2015 at 2:18am - work - by hook me up with some smack, Jack (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was at the store with my father. As we were leaving, he grabbed a baguette, put it by his crotch, and took a picture with his phone. I'm starting to feel like the parent here. FML

#21449663
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18100) - you deserved it (1425)

On 07/30/2015 at 7:24pm - misc - by EmbarrassedChild - United States

Today, during my father's funeral, I heard my mother-in-law mutter, "No loss there. Lazy cunt." FML

#21449050
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25131) - you deserved it (1379)

On 07/29/2015 at 1:00pm - misc - by HF44 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to listen to my grandma talk about how she's "allergic" to toilet paper, and how she lets nature "take care of it". FML

#21449508
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20767) - you deserved it (1360)

On 07/30/2015 at 11:30am - health - by WhatTheFuck - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned companies can legally lie to fire an employee, and unless anything they say is on record, they are legally correct, no matter how unethical the company is. FML

#21449623
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18465) - you deserved it (1354)

On 07/30/2015 at 5:50pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

#21449227
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23908) - you deserved it (1334)

On 07/29/2015 at 8:57pm - health - by Crap (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was detained for trying to "illegally enter" my house, all because my parents forgot to tell me they were being evicted. FML

#21449546
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22671) - you deserved it (1297)

On 07/30/2015 at 1:38pm - misc - by College_Grad (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.



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