Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Thursday 3 September 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a customer service guy called to fix a problem I've been having with my phone. When it transpired that he couldn't help, he transferred me to another representative. This other representative ended up being a John Deere dealer in Michigan. FML

#21463522
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16226) - you deserved it (1101)

On 09/01/2015 at 10:26pm - misc - by NotBuyingATractor (man) - United States (California)

Today, my doctor informed me that the tests we've been doing the previous months show no sign of leukemia. I was just about to express my relief when he casually followed up with, "Never mind, there's still a lot of other blood-related diseases we need to look out for." FML

#21463645
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17939) - you deserved it (1054)

On 09/02/2015 at 6:09am - health - by Lily (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, someone left sticky notes with inspirational messages on everyone's locker. Well, almost everyone. My locker was the only one without a note. FML

#21463756
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12231) - you deserved it (989)

On 09/02/2015 at 2:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had yet another debilitating migraine that kept me awake. In the middle of the night, I heard an owl hooting. Thinking it was cool, I moved closer to the open window to hear better. After a few minutes, I realized it was actually my new neighbor having loud sex. My aunt moved in next door. FML

#21463837
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13124) - you deserved it (953)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Hooty (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I discovered that my 100-pound Rottweiler is absolutely terrified of (drumroll please) orange peels. Yup. A byproduct of my lunch will turn this hulking monolith with teeth into a whimpering puddle of pee. FML

#21463927
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11068) - you deserved it (910)

On 09/02/2015 at 10:30pm - animals - by pansypup - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I finally got the results of months of extensive psychological testing to determine why I did so well in my course but performed so terribly on the job. Turns out I'm autistic. FML

#21463718
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13159) - you deserved it (884)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:41am - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my boss found me on a dating app. He found it perfectly acceptable to message me and didn't understand why I wasn't comfortable with it. He now wants to have a meeting with me about inappropriate behavior outside of work. FML

#21463971
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11066) - you deserved it (814)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:37pm - work - by ihatemyjob - United States (Mississippi)

Today, after the doctor poking around my urethra and vagina at a lump. She turns to me and says, "I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what that is. Have some antibiotics and we'll see how it goes in two weeks." Excuse me while I go panic in a corner. FML

#21463826
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12958) - you deserved it (793)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:10pm - health - by freakingout (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML

#21463909
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12946) - you deserved it (718)

On 09/02/2015 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom called me a druggie after she found out I smoked weed once. She's now threatening to sell my car, tell my boss, and ban me from seeing my fiancée. I'm 24. FML

#21464117
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3615) - you deserved it (508)

On 09/03/2015 at 12:30pm - misc - by kp - United States

Today, I had to create another signature. I have to use one at the bank and the other around my mother, so that when she tries to cash my paychecks the bank won't let her. FML

#21464185
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4217) - you deserved it (237)

On 09/03/2015 at 3:54pm - misc - by Why - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: