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Friday 6 March 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't stop looking at my phone while working. I work in the back room, and there is no clock in there. I look at my phone to check the time. That way I know how long I have left in that hellhole. FML

#21368483
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18874) - you deserved it (4039)

On 03/05/2015 at 4:19am - work - by lion2294 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I fell out of a window while trying to close it so no one would fall out. FML

#21366431
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27645) - you deserved it (3881)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by meeeee! - United States (Delaware)

Today, I saw a person in my class completing a project that was due two periods later and that they had just started in the bathroom. They got a better grade than me. FML

#21366872
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24913) - you deserved it (3846)

On 03/02/2015 at 9:43pm - misc - by Anomaly - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's been almost 2 months since I moved into my new place, and it's the first time a girl has slept in my bed. I also slept on my new couch for the first time. FML

#21367098
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23661) - you deserved it (3463) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/02/2015 at 9:03pm - love - by Marc (man) - Hong Kong

Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML

#21366438
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29513) - you deserved it (3048)

On 03/02/2015 at 9:04am - intimacy - by donotbelieveinsecondchances (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, during a family game of "Cards Against Humanity," I had to explain to my mom what queefing is. FML

#21368616
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13295) - you deserved it (2868)

On 03/05/2015 at 11:30am - misc - by lulinator (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

#21367801
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30534) - you deserved it (2708)

On 03/04/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Highnapple - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked 20 minutes in rain, winds that almost knocked me over, and face-fulls of stinging hailstones. Less than a minute after I finally got inside, the weather cleared up, the sun came out, and a rainbow appeared. FML

#21367104
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26866) - you deserved it (2454)

On 03/03/2015 at 5:41am - misc - by Banana_Lord - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML

#21366308
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27287) - you deserved it (2445)

On 03/02/2015 at 12:14am - intimacy - by dickofbrokendreams - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after several sleepless nights full of crying, I went to my university's free help center. After telling the psychologist my problems and asking what to do, he looked at me blankly and said, "Uh, it's not depression, I guess. You should go out more and, like, party some more." FML

#21367402
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25126) - you deserved it (2366)

On 03/03/2015 at 5:02pm - health - by Anonymous - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, my entire junior class took the ACT. On the last test, a classmate's phone went off, automatically invalidating the whole test. We all have to retake it. FML

Today, I noticed that my son was less excited about losing a tooth than normal. I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Tyler told me that the tooth fairy died yesterday in a car accident." To which Tyler replied, "You're welcome." FML

#21367147
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25740) - you deserved it (2209)

On 03/03/2015 at 8:14am - kids - by Mommycakes (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got a new job and told everyone about it. A few hours later, I got an email from the executive saying I actually don't have the job anymore. FML

#21366823
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23990) - you deserved it (2177)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:42pm - work - by dontplaywithmyfeelings - Canada (Alberta)



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