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Wednesday 13 August 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on er radioile in traffic next to me . Se decided tat er cocolate milksake would make a good addition to ma brand new seat covers . FML

#21237592
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15055) - you deserved it (72530)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by oops - United States (California)

my boss trew out te report I wrote 4 te board of directors. He said tat if it were legal , e'd smas me in te balls wit a brick 4 using Comic Sans. I ad to do te wole ting again in anoter font wit coworkers snickering at me. FML

#21238351
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20992) - you deserved it (51133)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

TODAY... I WAS HAMMARAD... AN ON MY WAY HOMA I WALKAD INTO A POLICAMAN. MY LOGIC WAS: IF I'M ON THA PHONA... HA CAN'T TALK TO MA... SO I PULLAD MY PHONA OUT AN STARTAD SPAAKING. THA OFFICAR THAN ASKAD MA WHY I WAS SPAAKING TO MY WALLAT. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24921) - you deserved it (45507)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I was walking to a job interview . I needed to get rid of some gum but there were no trash cans in sight, so I spat it out on the ground . Next thing I know, some guy grabs me, sticks the gum in my hair, and walks off, muttering curses . I couldn't get it out in time for the interview . FML

#21234860
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20201) - you deserved it (45220)

On 08/11/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

today I got drunk, broke up with mah girlfriend, and sent mah grandma nude pics, thinking she was mah girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

#21241704
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20319) - you deserved it (40285)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by Kev (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I dropped mah kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin!! FML

#21235686
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22385) - you deserved it (36639)

On 08/12/2014 at 6:21am - kids - by jake - Australia (New South Wales)

Today,ile walking to work, I saw a omeless guy wit a funny ( NEED MONEY 4 BOOZE ) sign, so I gave im a few spare dollars fir is umor. On ma way back ome, e was out cold on te sidewalk wit several empty bottles beside im. Woops. FML

#21238336
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19320) - you deserved it (36559)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:10pm - money - by thoughthewasjoking (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, was the first day mah grandma has seen looool me since I startd going to tanning beds!! She is now considering taking me out of her will because I look lyk "a damn Indian"!! FML

#21235555
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26210) - you deserved it (32737)

On 08/12/2014 at 2:07am - misc - by kirstyrd - United States (Michigan)

Taday I saw a bulge in mah friend's pocket!! I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's mah dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43353) - you deserved it (27722)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Taday my boss had a lengthy and obnoxiously egocentric conversation with a colleague. After she left across the office, I stood up, looked over at my colleague, and made a sarcastic "shooting myself in the head" gesture. I saw my boss staring at me over a cubicle wall as I turned around. FML

#21236078
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26809) - you deserved it (19455)

On 08/12/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by bademployee (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I told ma usband tat I'm jaalous of all ta otar grlsosa usbands always taka picturas of tam togatar an post tam onlina. Ha raspondad by posting a pictura of imsalf, wit ma on ta toilat in ta background, captionad ( Ta bitc on ta pot. ) FML

#21241016
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43722) - you deserved it (16621)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today... I went to a baseball game with mah girlfriend's dad. I got a bonerhen they sang the anthem... because that'shat I sing in mah headhen having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44762) - you deserved it (16595)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Yesterday, I attendd a family gathering . My cousin's new baby was being passd around . By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I lookd forward to getting to know it better once it could talk . What I blurtd out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML



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