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Sunday 9 March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I was tanning nude in my backyard, when I took a picture of our dog lying in the grass and sent it to my dad. It was only after I looked at the picture indoors that I realized my nipple had made it into the picture too. FML

#21086753
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40461) - you deserved it (34977)

On 03/14/2014 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by why - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mess around at my workplace's parking lot. Things got hot and steamy, but in the middle of it all, there came a bang at my car window. My frantic boss had seen us and thought I was being attacked. FML

#21080766
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33300) - you deserved it (26624)

On 03/07/2014 at 7:53pm - work - by unknown - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

#21080573
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45713) - you deserved it (24145)

On 03/07/2014 at 2:47pm - intimacy - by onepussytwopussy (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, while mowing, I found a baby bunny and took a picture of it. 20 minutes later, I accidentally ran over said bunny with the mower. FML

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

#21087786
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40731) - you deserved it (19546)

On 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I've been waiting for a very important document in the mail. It has been two months. I reviewed my application and realized I forgot to put a mailing address down. FML

#21081681
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33280) - you deserved it (18619)

On 03/08/2014 at 9:15pm - misc - by AmericanAlien (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work, I was standing around, doing nothing. When my coworker pointed this out, I laughed and said, "It's okay, I'm training for a supervisor position!" Guess who was standing right behind me. FML

#21079043
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33708) - you deserved it (16583)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:36pm - work - by sparkrok - United States (Washington)

Today, we had a surprise party for my boss. Someone turned out all the lights. I was so scared of the dark, the first thing my boss saw when he walked in was all my co-workers watching me scream, "TURN IT ON!" FML

#21083937
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33667) - you deserved it (15397)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I learned the worst part about being dared to shave your ass hair: Stubble. FML

#21079543
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35994) - you deserved it (15038)

On 03/06/2014 at 9:54am - health - by DaggerHole (man) - Australia

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

#21079127
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37018) - you deserved it (14786)

On 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. He dumped me because apparently now there is "too much competition". FML

#21081103
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43546) - you deserved it (12916)

On 03/08/2014 at 4:23am - love - by biwhat (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I met my mom's new business partner for the first time. I shook his hand, and introduced myself as "Lisa's daughter". I'm a guy. FML

#21085066
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34558) - you deserved it (11787)

On 03/12/2014 at 6:23pm - work - by CurtisWogan (man) - United States (Georgia)



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