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Sunday 2 March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML

#21070396
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45948) - you deserved it (4333)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuckmeitsgettingworse - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I had a music duet in front of a crowd and 3 judges. I play tuba and my partner plays the saxophone. He burst out laughing in the middle of it because one note that I played sounded like a fart. FML

#21082619
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39796) - you deserved it (4317)

On 03/09/2014 at 10:09pm - misc - by some band player - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that I'm the only person in my family that our new cat likes. She sleeps on my bed and always sits in my lap and despises everyone else. I'm allergic to cats. FML

#21070365
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45001) - you deserved it (4292)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:05pm - animals - by Good choice cat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML

#21081555
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42745) - you deserved it (4281)

On 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML

#21080512
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41749) - you deserved it (4228)

On 03/07/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, I awoke to the sound of a gunshot, followed by children screaming. I leapt out of bed and ran to my balcony, only to see people casually milling around the elementary school parking lot under a "Science Fair" banner. A kid's science experiment scared me shitless. FML

Today, during class our teacher asked us, "Who is Uncle Sam?" A girl answered, "He's the guy who founded KFC, right?" I'm in an AP class and have to put up with these morons constantly. FML

#21071374
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42480) - you deserved it (4201)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I set up a small social gathering for a few friends. One of them didn't have a ride, so the others, who'd already shown up, went to go give him a ride. After no sign of them for a whole hour, I called to see what was wrong. They went out to eat and completely forgot about me. FML

#21075503
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46724) - you deserved it (4198)

On 03/02/2014 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I saw a kid getting bullied; a girl was hitting him in the head. After having an inner struggle with what to do, I tried to stop them. Both kids then turned on me, and called me a "hippo". FML

#21078067
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40203) - you deserved it (4186)

On 03/04/2014 at 5:55pm - kids - by meandme (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a woman attempted to pickpocket me while trying to educate me about God. FML

Today, I had to give a sexual harassment seminar to my department. Someone put in a complaint that my example made them feel uncomfortable. FML

#21072334
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40365) - you deserved it (4019)

On 02/26/2014 at 4:44pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cat decided that instead of using the brand-new scratching post I bought him, he was going to use my pant leg while I was asleep. FML

#21070082
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34949) - you deserved it (3939)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:20am - animals - by tornkhakis - United States (Indiana)



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