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Sunday 2 March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at work, I was standing around, doing nothing. When my coworker pointed this out, I laughed and said, "It's okay, I'm training for a supervisor position!" Guess who was standing right behind me. FML

#21079043
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33774) - you deserved it (16624)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:36pm - work - by sparkrok - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned the worst part about being dared to shave your ass hair: Stubble. FML

#21079543
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37678) - you deserved it (15618)

On 03/06/2014 at 9:54am - health - by DaggerHole (man) - Australia

Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML

#21074161
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51432) - you deserved it (15510)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

#21075108
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37439) - you deserved it (15010)

On 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm - money - by SarahNB - United States (Utah)

Today, I wanted to pretend to have a seizure so my baby sister could know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she decided to drink my soda instead of helping me. FML

#21071750
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38282) - you deserved it (14992)

On 02/25/2014 at 10:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

#21079127
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37078) - you deserved it (14804)

On 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, I confessed my love for the girl I like, on the forum she moderates. She responded by banning me. FML

#21074335
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35682) - you deserved it (14760) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/28/2014 at 4:26pm - love - by Depirama (man) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I threw an eraser at my brother to get his attention because he couldn't hear me over his music. Being in a bad mood, he thought I was trying to aggravate his bad mood and responded by throwing a small desk cactus back. FML

#21071018
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38516) - you deserved it (13602)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:31am - misc - by ThatGuyWithFMLs (man) - Japan (Osaka)

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

#21076106
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52666) - you deserved it (13440)

On 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm - animals - by Anonytard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. He dumped me because apparently now there is "too much competition". FML

#21081103
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44989) - you deserved it (13343)

On 03/08/2014 at 4:23am - love - by biwhat (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

#21072961
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34089) - you deserved it (11884)

On 02/27/2014 at 6:59am - work - by doodler - United States (Texas)

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

#21077619
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41708) - you deserved it (11676)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06am - love - by booksandshadows (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I talked to my husband about his lack of interest in sex. Apparently his definition is polar to mine; his is along the lines of cuddling. Not only did I wait until marriage to have sex with this man, apparently he prefers a permanent roommate without benefits. FML

#21071417
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51916) - you deserved it (10248)

On 02/25/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by OverIt (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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