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Wednesday 19 February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I saw a photo on my mother-in-law's Facebook, proudly showing off the horrible job she'd done of painting her car. I sarcastically commented that I wouldn't inflict that on my worst enemy's ride. An hour later, she came by and emptied a bucket of paint over my windshield. FML

#21066687
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25408) - you deserved it (49290)

On 02/20/2014 at 4:20pm - misc - by time to lawyer up (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML

#21070244
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18637) - you deserved it (47591)

On 02/24/2014 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that the little arrow next to my gas gauge actually points to the side of the car where the tank is. For the past year-and-a-half I've been sticking my head out the window and even calling my parents to ask which side it was on, because I can never remember. FML

#21071932
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16478) - you deserved it (46150)

On 02/26/2014 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while waiting in line at a store, a toddler behind me was throwing a major meltdown while his father yelled at him, giving me a migraine. I turned to the woman behind me and said, "Can you believe this kid? I feel sorry for his mother." Turns out the woman was his mother. FML

#21064367
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25555) - you deserved it (42532)

On 02/18/2014 at 11:31am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was feeling really good about myself for running and walking everywhere so much so that I was out of breath and panting. Well, until I remembered that I was playing a video game and it was my character that was doing the running around that is. FML

#21063762
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18747) - you deserved it (40853)

On 02/17/2014 at 8:57pm - health - by Tomb Raider Wannabe (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was singing while driving through the car park. I blacked out trying to hit a high note, and ended up bashing into another car. FML

#21063366
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23560) - you deserved it (40655)

On 02/17/2014 at 12:43pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the self-checkout line at Walmart. When I tried to pay, the cash wouldn't go in, so I stood there trying to cram money into the thing that's supposed to take your money. What I didn't realize was that there was a sign up top that said: "No Cash. Cards Only." FML

#21070121
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16744) - you deserved it (38370)

On 02/24/2014 at 4:36am - misc - by I hate Walmart???? - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I've been forced to start packing to go on a vacation with my parents, because they say I've been studying too hard and need a break. I've hardly studied at all and was planning on making up for it all in the time I had left before finals. I'm screwed. FML

#21069416
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21211) - you deserved it (37963)

On 02/23/2014 at 2:00pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while walking barefoot through my house, I saw something shine on the floor across the hallway. Curious as to what it was, I rubbed my foot across the carpet to feel it. It wasn't until it was deeply lodged in my foot did I realize it was an open safety pin. FML

#21069793
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17550) - you deserved it (36036)

On 02/23/2014 at 9:22pm - health - by owmyfoot - United States (California)

Today, my boss fired me. I can't really explain the slap I gave him for it, though. FML

#21072136
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22840) - you deserved it (33713) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/26/2014 at 4:45am - work - by sistermonster (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I was helping my wife bring in the groceries. She was able to carry 4 bags and a jug of milk. I was struggling with 2 bags. FML

#21069230
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34418) - you deserved it (20574)

On 02/23/2014 at 9:36am - misc - by weak - United States (Ohio)

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

#21064527
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48393) - you deserved it (17865)

On 02/18/2014 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML

#21067749
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36809) - you deserved it (17193)

On 02/21/2014 at 4:37pm - misc - by Cuntface McGee (man) - Romania (Cluj)



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