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Wednesday 12 February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was on a date, when I suddenly choked on my own saliva and coughed so hard that I passed out. FML

Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML

#21060497
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51682) - you deserved it (4844)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:57pm - love - by jacey chreyest (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my wife tried to report our neighbor's yard sale to the Better Business Bureau. FML

#21057520
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40497) - you deserved it (4765)

On 02/11/2014 at 8:37pm - money - by dumbwifehappylife (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend kept starting fights with me, and why my best friend kept telling me to break up with him. It was so they could turn their affair into a proper relationship, then twist it around to make me look like a bitch for dumping him. FML

#21058247
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63505) - you deserved it (4706)

On 02/12/2014 at 4:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

#21061598
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40780) - you deserved it (4655)

On 02/15/2014 at 3:51pm - misc - by fuck my goddamn life (man) - United States

Today, my husband cracked a "rectum? damn near killed him" joke at my grandfather's funeral. He had genuinely spoken without thinking, but his quick gasp and "Oh shit" sounded quite sarcastic. We were both kicked out. My family thinks I put him up to the whole thing. FML

#21062405
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41228) - you deserved it (4567)

On 02/16/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by shanti (woman) -

Today, my live-in mother-in-law brazenly swiped most of the money from my wallet, then walked out of the room as if nothing had happened. The worst thing is that my wife believes anything she says, so I can't do a damn thing about it. FML

#21060189
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42636) - you deserved it (4393)

On 02/14/2014 at 12:11pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, in the middle of telling my mother about my engagement, she suddenly broke down in tears about her problems at work and her loveless marriage, and abruptly hung up on me. FML

Today, I aced my solo during my band concert. My parents were asleep the whole time. FML

Today, I was at work at the airport. I got called up to a plane's cargo hold, and thought I'd finally learn how to use the loader. Turns out they just needed me to weigh something down, effectively making me ballast. Then my boss told me to get the hell off, after which I hit my head hard climbing out. FML

#21063360
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36695) - you deserved it (4313)

On 02/17/2014 at 12:36pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my in-laws kept mocking me for being "too clean" because I take a shower every day. They think I'm weird and kept saying things like "Be careful when you hug your daughter, she might squeak!" and calling me names like "water-wasting bitch." They haven't stopped all day. FML

#21058081
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49239) - you deserved it (4262)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, feeling magnanimous, I decided to help a frail-looking old lady across a busy street. She managed to "accidentally" hit me in the balls with her cane no fewer than three times before we reached the other side. FML

#21064549
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36529) - you deserved it (4258)

On 02/18/2014 at 3:16pm - misc - by undineA (man) - Greece (Thessaloniki)

Today, a woman pushed a stroller in front of my car. Thinking I'd hit someone, I jumped out. Turns out it was a doll. The "woman" was a 14-year-old girl, claiming, "I did it for the Vine!" FML

#21058421
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53743) - you deserved it (4247)

On 02/12/2014 at 7:52pm - misc - by Parusu - United States (Florida)



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