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Wednesday 5 February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I caught my boyfriend stealing money from my purse. He tried to turn it on me by claiming I'll owe him for the flowers he'll get me on Valentine's Day, then tried to make me feel guilty by saying the whole thing is for "selfish bitches anyway". FML

#21055376
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42605) - you deserved it (5164)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to clean out my husband's messy room. In the process, I found a jar containing what appears to be a toenail collection. I don't think I'll ever regain my appetite. FML

#21055497
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39077) - you deserved it (5033)

On 02/09/2014 at 4:18pm - misc - by Avomitmous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, and for the third time this week, I found a pubic hair in my soup. I'm currently bed-ridden and can't afford to piss off my boyfriend by complaining. FML

#21054632
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41115) - you deserved it (4967)

On 02/08/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by vey (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, after months of looking at cribs and picking out the perfect one for my unborn daughter, the store informed me that they no longer make that crib, even though the model is right there on the sales floor. I had to leave as my hormones got the best of me and I started bawling. FML

Today, Facebook put something out that shows a video of your entire life on the website. A part of it showed your most popular status update. Mine was from when I got dumped at Christmas. FML

#21050703
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47666) - you deserved it (4868)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:25pm - love - by BigLove (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife tried to report our neighbor's yard sale to the Better Business Bureau. FML

#21057520
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39558) - you deserved it (4668)

On 02/11/2014 at 8:37pm - money - by dumbwifehappylife (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend kept starting fights with me, and why my best friend kept telling me to break up with him. It was so they could turn their affair into a proper relationship, then twist it around to make me look like a bitch for dumping him. FML

#21058247
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61505) - you deserved it (4567)

On 02/12/2014 at 4:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML

#21050005
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41021) - you deserved it (4387)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:16am - misc - by Lithiac - United States (Florida)

Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML

#21053635
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37508) - you deserved it (4250)

On 02/07/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by fuckmyplums (man) - Austria (Salzburg)

Today, a woman pushed a stroller in front of my car. Thinking I'd hit someone, I jumped out. Turns out it was a doll. The "woman" was a 14-year-old girl, claiming, "I did it for the Vine!" FML

#21058421
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52515) - you deserved it (4149)

On 02/12/2014 at 7:52pm - misc - by Parusu - United States (Florida)

Today, my in-laws kept mocking me for being "too clean" because I take a shower every day. They think I'm weird and kept saying things like "Be careful when you hug your daughter, she might squeak!" and calling me names like "water-wasting bitch." They haven't stopped all day. FML

#21058081
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47742) - you deserved it (4143)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend decided the best way to inform me of his shoplifting tendencies was to steal stuff while we were at Starbucks. FML

#21049681
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38691) - you deserved it (4121)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:30pm - love - by lbailey32 - United States (New York)

Today, I was ringing an elderly gentleman up at work. As I went to package up the buns he ordered, he held up a hand and told me to wait. He then looked me in the eyes, started squeezing them, then winked and told me to go ahead. I've never felt so violated. FML

#21050427
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39721) - you deserved it (4066)

On 02/04/2014 at 4:42pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)



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