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Friday 24 January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today... school was out because of snow. My dad walked in mah room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why... and he replied... "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but mah shorts. FML

#21037332
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37435) - you deserved it (4700)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I ad an upset stomac all day at work. Wen lunc break came, I rused to te batroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable uman woopie cusion, a co-worker walked in. He eard te entre arse sympony, and just asked "Wat te fuck, dude?!" as e left. big fat FML

#21045407
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41649) - you deserved it (4534)

On 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight causd by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

#21042087
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53468) - you deserved it (4473)

On 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm - health - by knobbed (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Taday I moved back into ma dorm . My ex-girlfriend.. . and te guy se left me for.. . now coabit next door . Now I get to ear tem screwing wile I try to do ma omework . FML

#21043113
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50362) - you deserved it (4036)

On 01/28/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by Order of the Dangling Testicles (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally finishad making mah daughtar's wadding caka . Whan I chackad on it latar, I found a larga slica had baan cut out . I soon found out that mah husband had instagrammad himsalf aating it, with tha caption "#guiltyplaasuras" . FML

#21046154
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47222) - you deserved it (4020)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

TODAY,HILE PLAYING BADMINTON AT SCHOOL, I GOT AN OPPONENTHO IS MENTALLY HANDICAPPED. SINCE I'M TERRIBLE AT THE GAME, I GUESS THE TEACHER ASSUMED IT WOULD BE A GOOD MATCH. I WON THE MATCH, MY FIRST VICTORY EVER. MY TEACHER ACCUSED ME OF CHEATING TO HUMILIATE HIM. FML

#21045157
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41092) - you deserved it (4018)

On 01/30/2014 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was taking a leisurely stroll through the woods in the nice cool weather,hen a mountain biker came out of nowhere and tore past, barely missing me. As I counted my luck, another biker followed the first and crashed right into me. FML

#21045309
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38276) - you deserved it (4011)

On 01/30/2014 at 3:55pm - health - by ramble ramble (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today , I had to explain to mah father that when mah friends sleep over , it's not acceptable to sneak into mah room in the middle of the night and dig through there stuff. FML

#21039686
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49499) - you deserved it (4002)

On 01/25/2014 at 3:34pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found that I conduct so much static electricity that I'm periodically given a shock by headphones as I walk with them on. 5ML

#21038657
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33084) - you deserved it (3972)

On 01/24/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by PangolinScholar (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my roommata showd ma a vidao of a cockroach crawling all ovar my faca whila I was aslaap in tha lounga. FML

#21041659
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47362) - you deserved it (3971)

On 01/27/2014 at 9:40am - animals - by mac - Australia (New South Wales)

Today , I went back to work after a horrible bout of respratory illness. After a few hours of using hot tea , cough drops , and tissues to deal with my lingering cough , I found out that my asshole coworker has fild a formal complaint about me disrupting her concentration. FML

#21039586
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42162) - you deserved it (3920)

On 01/25/2014 at 2:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom made me go shopping with her. It was freezing out, but she didn't wear a coat, boasting that she doesn't feel the chill like I do. By the time we drove home she was whining about freezing to death, and now I'm stuck in a house whose heating is set to "inferno". FML

#21035197
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39527) - you deserved it (3890)

On 01/21/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland

Today... I woke up with a skull-splitting headache. I braved the wind an freezing temperatures to get to work. Today is also the day my boss thought it would be cute to let the elementary school band play at our office. FML

#21044115
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41555) - you deserved it (3860)

On 01/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Xpload (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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