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Friday 17 January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML

#21030815
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36546) - you deserved it (4650)

On 01/17/2014 at 12:35pm - misc - by my cheese grater + your dick (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, after arriving home from work I found that my dog took a dump down the air conditioning vents on the floor. Now the whole house smells so good. FML

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52847) - you deserved it (4594)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my sister had me kicked out of her wedding reception for, in the words of her new husband, "harshing the buzz." FML

#21028633
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33830) - you deserved it (4494)

On 01/15/2014 at 10:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML

#21034785
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43804) - you deserved it (4424)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:07am - kids - by sickmom (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years told me that since I've proven my loyalty and faithfully stuck by his side, he has no reason to ever consider marrying me, because "It's not like you're going anywhere, honey." He seems not to understand why I am upset by this. FML

#21037274
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45236) - you deserved it (4420)

On 01/23/2014 at 3:57pm - love - by heartbrokenhaley - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my new calculus teacher taught everything using nothing but soccer terms and analogies, just so the resident idiot meatheads would understand. I didn't learn a thing. FML

#21030844
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37304) - you deserved it (4386)

On 01/17/2014 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my mom asked me when I'm going to propose to my girlfriend. Not only was she in the room at the time, I've spent the whole week thinking of ways to break up with her without ending up in the hospital. 5ML

#21038079
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40749) - you deserved it (4176)

On 01/24/2014 at 10:11am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

#21037332
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35158) - you deserved it (4111)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML

#21027576
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39874) - you deserved it (4061)

On 01/14/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, after spending the night out with her friends to celebrate her birthday, my girlfriend paid me a surprise visit at home, only to find women's lingerie on my bed. She wouldn't believe they were gifts for her, even though they still had the tags on them. FML

#21032861
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43849) - you deserved it (4037)

On 01/19/2014 at 2:12pm - love - by .... (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." 5ML

#21037822
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39843) - you deserved it (3996)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I puked up an anti-nausea pill. FML

#21026645
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46796) - you deserved it (3991)

On 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)



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