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Friday 17 January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML

#21031072
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41497) - you deserved it (5769)

On 01/17/2014 at 6:28pm - health - by SqueakingRetard (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason why my credit card mysteriously maxed out 2 months ago 'might have been' because she posted a picture of it on Facebook. I ordered a new credit card without the custom picture of us immediately. She broke up with me. FML

#21035364
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52252) - you deserved it (5737)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:59pm - love - by FacebookStrikesAgain (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I went to an important job interview. I was really anxious but tried to soldier on anyway. When I was called in, my nerves got so bad that I reverted to speaking my second language. Not first, second. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting the job. FML

#21035049
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39452) - you deserved it (5663)

On 01/21/2014 at 1:55pm - work - by ugh (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, my brother asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick. I stupidly said yes and now have a black eye from where he punched me. My dad thinks it's hilarious and my mum says he didn't know any better. He's 13. FML

#21035253
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44376) - you deserved it (5660)

On 01/21/2014 at 5:27pm - health - by cuntocracy (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML

#21028790
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42840) - you deserved it (5658)

On 01/15/2014 at 2:22pm - misc - by coop42 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML

#21036142
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42488) - you deserved it (5423)

On 01/22/2014 at 2:23pm - misc - by IMSERIOUS - United States (California)

Today, I took a nap in my car right after finishing up at work. I was woken up by a hobo sitting in the passenger seat, watching me sleep. Apparently, he'd managed to unlock the door with a wire hanger. FML

#21027083
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45957) - you deserved it (5393)

On 01/13/2014 at 10:31pm - misc - by ShelterForTheHomless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend took a day off from work because he felt "sick". I thought he might come see me since he hadn't come over in a while. Nope, he went to hang out with his ex instead. FML

#21031915
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51911) - you deserved it (5360)

On 01/18/2014 at 4:09pm - love - by yes i meant ex-boyfriend (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I'm a 34 year old male who just got given the sex talk on my Facebook timeline by my senile mother. 5ML

#21038727
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48287) - you deserved it (5350)

On 01/24/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad and I got royally bitched out by my mother, because she found a bill for a porn site subscription, which was paid by my dad, but made out to my name. I had no idea about any of this, but she now thinks I'm a filthy porn addict and that my dad is an enabler. FML

#21027732
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52858) - you deserved it (5233)

On 01/14/2014 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58708) - you deserved it (5210)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my roommate, who has bipolar disorder and refuses to take his meds, tried to stab me with a kitchen knife because I threw out his moldy cheese. FML

#21031274
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44493) - you deserved it (5196)

On 01/17/2014 at 10:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML

#21034785
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47926) - you deserved it (5194)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:07am - kids - by sickmom (woman) - United States (Louisiana)



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