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Friday 10 January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a guy I like asked me to a dance. Trying to act modest and at the same time compliment him, I told him, "You could do so much better, though." After thinking for a moment, he replied, "You're right, I could. Never mind," and walked away. FML

#21020576
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29232) - you deserved it (56508)

On 01/07/2014 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

#21026318
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21840) - you deserved it (48685)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, the sewage pipe busted on the side of our house, spew fecal matter and the condoms I recently flushed. My parents now refuse to talk to me, and won't let my girlfriend anywhere near the house. FML

#21027629
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26662) - you deserved it (45703)

On 01/14/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by ===== (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21025933
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31819) - you deserved it (39478)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML

#21022033
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27021) - you deserved it (35210)

On 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML

#21020870
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36311) - you deserved it (32598)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53692) - you deserved it (32537)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62125) - you deserved it (27015)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, I used the restroom at a mall. I thought I was alone, so I started singing. When I got out of the stall, there were men staring at me. Not only did I embarrass myself with my own singing, I'd accidentally used the men's restroom too. FML

#21024837
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42434) - you deserved it (21042)

On 01/11/2014 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I downloaded Grindr to my phone. It also downloaded to my mom's phone, my dad's phone, and my brother's phone. FML

#21030290
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39345) - you deserved it (20902)

On 01/16/2014 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realised after showering that I didn't have a towel, so I thought I would risk a naked dash to my brother's room to steal one of his. He and his friend were in the room and both agreed that I needed a "trim". FML

#21019082
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49246) - you deserved it (20355)

On 01/06/2014 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I hacked into my best friend's Facebook account to message my mother about organizing a surprise party for myself for my 21st. She ignored the message for two days before replying, "I don't think so. No one would really show up and I think that would hurt her feelings." FML

#21029577
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44997) - you deserved it (18939)

On 01/16/2014 at 6:45am - misc - by nolovefor21 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

#21019316
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49540) - you deserved it (17652)

On 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm - animals - by Z3R0G5 (man) - United States (Indiana)



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