Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 15 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, some kids used firecrackers to blow up my mailbox. This is the third time this week. FML

#20961862
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38736) - you deserved it (3373)

On 11/18/2013 at 5:14am - kids - by kids next door - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

#20966535
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44731) - you deserved it (3351)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:20am - kids - by spooked (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

#20963751
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37560) - you deserved it (3338)

On 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML

#20966996
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39765) - you deserved it (3332)

On 11/22/2013 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML

#20956092
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54516) - you deserved it (3214)

On 11/13/2013 at 6:08am - kids - by little_star78 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to an over-crowded grocery store. As I reached the front of a long line, I noticed that a cart had been abandoned in everybody's way. Trying to be helpful, I moved it to the side. An enormous woman then shoved me and yelled at me for "pushing her property around." FML

#20953468
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36377) - you deserved it (3114)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by PainStressLife - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he thought he heard another guy in the room when he called me, and that I'm cheating on him. The guy he heard was a character from a cartoon my sister was watching. FML

#20958917
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40420) - you deserved it (3108)

On 11/15/2013 at 5:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my roommate secretly edited a paper I wrote and recently turned in, so that it repeatedly refers to the famed author "Kneel Gayman." I'm positive that's not how it's spelled. FML

#20958782
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34712) - you deserved it (3103)

On 11/15/2013 at 3:30pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, working as a cashier, I had a customer come through and ask to purchase a bag of ice. I asked, "Eight pound or twenty pound?", referring to the clearly marked weight of the bags. He replied, "What's the difference?" FML

#20955463
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36219) - you deserved it (3015)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. After telling her everything I'm going through, she looked at me and said "You know... every five years or so I get a case completely beyond my ability to help." I guess it's been five years. FML

#20963305
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45711) - you deserved it (2995)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:31pm - health - by elle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that shirt sizes don't get longer, they get wider. Being 6ft4, every shirt I try on makes me look like a cheap stripper. FML

#20954733
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40868) - you deserved it (2959)

On 11/12/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by Pongy (man) -

Today, my trusty old car decided that it no longer needed its back passenger window-pane, and that in fact the window would look a lot better smashed to pieces by the roadside. FML

#20957404
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31414) - you deserved it (2941)

On 11/14/2013 at 10:17am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

#20965814
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43697) - you deserved it (2937)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:52pm - animals - by thatsnotacat - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: