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Friday 15 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I let my sister hold my newborn daughter for the first time. I heard her mutter under her breath, "I could kill you so easily..." FML

Today, I donated blood. Afterwards, I regained consciousness on the floor with a half-eaten cookie in my mouth. FML

Today, my sister introduced our parents to her new boyfriend. He's my boyfriend, and he told me he was going to be out of state for a few weeks on business. FML

Today, I asked a co-worker why he was wearing sandals, as they are not allowed under our strict dress code. He got extremely angry with me and stormed off. Ten minutes later, I got called into our boss' office. Apparently, he told her that I walked up to him and asked to suck his toes. FML

#20956059
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43892) - you deserved it (3892)

On 11/13/2013 at 4:00am - work - by feetfreak (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I made eye contact with a cute guy from across a packed train. He then yelled out, in front of everyone, "You've got foam on your nose!" FML

#20958414
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35836) - you deserved it (3879)

On 11/15/2013 at 4:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML

#20961774
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35211) - you deserved it (3866)

On 11/18/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by kb (woman) - United States

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

#20955245
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45991) - you deserved it (3742)

On 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by long day - United States (Michigan)

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me but wanted to make sure that we were still friends, so he could still use my Netflix. FML

#20963690
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47314) - you deserved it (3717)

On 11/19/2013 at 7:19pm - love - by unwantedforlife (woman) - United States

Today, my obsessive ex, who recently cut my phone line to stop me from talking to my boyfriend of three years, got a job at the same restaurant where both my boyfriend and I work. FML

Today, as a part of my autobiography project for school, I needed to have 2 friends and 2 family members each write me a letter. I ended up having to forge 3 letters. FML

#20964402
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43413) - you deserved it (3663)

On 11/20/2013 at 10:28am - misc - by me - United States (New York)

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

#20966535
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47946) - you deserved it (3658)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:20am - kids - by spooked (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML

#20958610
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54468) - you deserved it (3609)

On 11/15/2013 at 11:59am - misc - by Colby - Canada (New Brunswick)



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