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Friday 15 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized that my 5 year old son has more money saved up in his piggy bank than I have in my actual bank account. FML

#20962344
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48930) - you deserved it (9523)

On 11/18/2013 at 5:14pm - money - by poorman - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

#20963410
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59847) - you deserved it (9072)

On 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by oops999 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

#20963297
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52255) - you deserved it (8629)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by you+me-clothes=53>< (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML

#20966629
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44308) - you deserved it (7898)

On 11/22/2013 at 5:18am - love - by awkwardpaul - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I fell asleep at my bus stop following a long day at work. I woke up to a homeless man giggling after he had clipped dozens of clothespins to my clothes, shoes, and hair in my sleep. FML

#20964867
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38345) - you deserved it (7578)

On 11/20/2013 at 7:12pm - misc - by 43_clothespins_later (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while shopping for clothes, I asked the assistant to recommend something for me. She took me to the maternity section. Thanks, but I'm not pregnant. FML

#20956268
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39982) - you deserved it (7355)

On 11/13/2013 at 12:30pm - misc - by fml - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my wife and I were watching Killing Kennedy. Jokingly, I said, "Spoiler alert: he dies." She threw a book at me and won't talk to me. I think she's serious. FML

#20953867
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47708) - you deserved it (7273)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Thomas - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my roommates they have to go get jobs, because I can't afford to support them or their bad habits any more. They responded by pawning all my DVDs for cash to buy cigarettes. FML

#20960170
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44139) - you deserved it (6818)

On 11/16/2013 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML

#20958357
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39765) - you deserved it (6702)

On 11/15/2013 at 2:05am - misc - by unproud (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, I met a fellow Star Wars fan. We began enthusiastically talking about how almost no one our age knows the good old classics anymore. I was referring to the original trilogy; she was talking about the ones with Jar Jar Binks. FML

#20965369
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39571) - you deserved it (6615)

On 11/21/2013 at 1:00am - love - by StarWarsGeek (woman) - United States

Today, I'm moving from Arizona to Washington State with my 2 cats in my car. I've only just left and just learned that one cat gets carsick and the other stress farts. Only 956 more miles to go. FML

#20962468
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44873) - you deserved it (6069)

On 11/18/2013 at 6:47pm - animals - by Catcrap! - United States (California)

Today, I found out my best friend made a program to reply to my text messages with random sentences from a list. It took 15 minutes of texting before I finally noticed. FML

#20959084
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39381) - you deserved it (6022)

On 11/15/2013 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Gujarat)

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

#20967131
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40767) - you deserved it (5675)

On 11/22/2013 at 6:14pm - kids - by houdinette (woman) - Sweden (Ostergotlands Lan)



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