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Tuesday 12 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML

#20961774
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33043) - you deserved it (3629)

On 11/18/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by kb (woman) - United States

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

#20955245
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44275) - you deserved it (3595)

On 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by long day - United States (Michigan)

Today, my sister introduced our parents to her new boyfriend. He's my boyfriend, and he told me he was going to be out of state for a few weeks on business. FML

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

Today, I had an interview scheduled for 10:05. When I got there, someone was talking to them, so I sat down to wait. Little did I know this wait would be 45 minutes. I got told to go home and that I'd be rescheduled. FML

#20963490
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41566) - you deserved it (3463)

On 11/19/2013 at 4:07pm - work - by innocent72 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me but wanted to make sure that we were still friends, so he could still use my Netflix. FML

#20963690
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43983) - you deserved it (3438)

On 11/19/2013 at 7:19pm - love - by unwantedforlife (woman) - United States

Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML

#20958610
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52250) - you deserved it (3426)

On 11/15/2013 at 11:59am - misc - by Colby - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, some kids used firecrackers to blow up my mailbox. This is the third time this week. FML

#20961862
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38708) - you deserved it (3372)

On 11/18/2013 at 5:14am - kids - by kids next door - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

#20963751
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37540) - you deserved it (3336)

On 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML

#20956092
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54473) - you deserved it (3212)

On 11/13/2013 at 6:08am - kids - by little_star78 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to an over-crowded grocery store. As I reached the front of a long line, I noticed that a cart had been abandoned in everybody's way. Trying to be helpful, I moved it to the side. An enormous woman then shoved me and yelled at me for "pushing her property around." FML

#20953468
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36348) - you deserved it (3114)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by PainStressLife - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he thought he heard another guy in the room when he called me, and that I'm cheating on him. The guy he heard was a character from a cartoon my sister was watching. FML

#20958917
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40398) - you deserved it (3106)

On 11/15/2013 at 5:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my roommate secretly edited a paper I wrote and recently turned in, so that it repeatedly refers to the famed author "Kneel Gayman." I'm positive that's not how it's spelled. FML

#20958782
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34685) - you deserved it (3102)

On 11/15/2013 at 3:30pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

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