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Tuesday 12 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

#20961005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47672) - you deserved it (4129)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to confront my friend who has been stealing from me for months. She denied it, while wearing a pair of my pants. FML

#20959350
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45881) - you deserved it (4120)

On 11/16/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by CODgirl102 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a party with a few of my friends. We saw a guy walking around with bright pink lipstick all over his mouth, so we made a bet to see who could match the lipstick to the girl first. I won. It was my girlfriend's. FML

#20953788
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55658) - you deserved it (4077)

On 11/11/2013 at 10:55am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found myself admiring my eyelids for being the only parts of my face not covered in acne. FML

#20960938
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43657) - you deserved it (4066)

On 11/17/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I learned I was conceived to the sounds of a Spice Girls album. FML

#20954288
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36720) - you deserved it (4055)

On 11/11/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by queenxalee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML

#20960650
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43634) - you deserved it (3982)

On 11/17/2013 at 8:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, in the small hours of the morning, my roommate's boyfriend kicked his foot through the thin wall separating our bedrooms during sex. They didn't even stop. FML

#20956290
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47916) - you deserved it (3871)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by BreakingTheMood (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I donated blood. Afterwards, I regained consciousness on the floor with a half-eaten cookie in my mouth. FML

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

Today, during school, I passed out in the lunch line and hit my head on the metal rail as I fell. Rather than helping or expressing concern at all, my friends simply left my unconscious body on the floor. Why? They had to get to the lasagna before the cafeteria ran out of it. FML

Today, I made eye contact with a cute guy from across a packed train. He then yelled out, in front of everyone, "You've got foam on your nose!" FML

#20958414
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34040) - you deserved it (3681)

On 11/15/2013 at 4:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I let my sister hold my newborn daughter for the first time. I heard her mutter under her breath, "I could kill you so easily..." FML

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

#20955245
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44723) - you deserved it (3637)

On 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by long day - United States (Michigan)



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