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Friday 8 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, for the tenth time, my teacher made a misbehaving student sit next to me as punishment. He begged for detention instead. FML

#20945365
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49840) - you deserved it (5490)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:01pm - misc - by WinkleBottom (man) - United States

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44524) - you deserved it (5400)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML

#20953149
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39258) - you deserved it (5095)

On 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm - work - by kittkatt1 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got into a fight with my brother that somehow ended with him breaking my toe with a Fisher-Price airplane. FML

#20955006
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35822) - you deserved it (5079)

On 11/12/2013 at 10:27am - kids - by CurseYouSonyaLee (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother was scolding my youngest sister for having unprotected sex with yet another partner. She continued with, "Why can't you be like your brother and just never have sex?" I'm 22, and she's not wrong. FML

#20952236
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46715) - you deserved it (4863)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:15am - misc - by notgettinsome - Australia

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

#20951750
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65312) - you deserved it (4838)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm - intimacy - by f (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the day before I'm supposed to leave for a long-anticipated trip to Europe, my mother admitted that she's never paid for it. She only told me she did so I would stop hinting that I wanted to go. I gave up Christmas for this trip. FML

Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML

#20955466
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40086) - you deserved it (4734)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:57pm - love - by icyrebel25 - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother and I got into an intense argument that ended up with us trading blows and having the cops called on us. Apparently I was "insulting his intelligence" by trying to explain that you don't make buttermilk by putting butter in milk. He's 18. FML

Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML

#20947778
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44020) - you deserved it (4628)

On 11/06/2013 at 2:09pm - misc - by s3xygrandpa (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband and I went for our 20 week scan and found out we're having a girl. The first thing he said to me was, "The next one better be a boy or I'm leaving you". FML

#20952357
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51695) - you deserved it (4587)

On 11/10/2013 at 5:28am - kids - by Naomi - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my girlfriend brought a 12-pack of beer to my mother's wake. FML

#20958939
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38202) - you deserved it (4570)

On 11/15/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by haqL (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)

Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML

#20947682
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37385) - you deserved it (4455)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:27pm - work - by Wraith (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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