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Monday 4 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband got mad at me for not helping take out the groceries from the car. He yelled that I'm lazy, and that he regrets our marriage. I guess he forgot that the door handle on that side is broken and he had to let me out of the car. FML

#20953907
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43505) - you deserved it (3692)

On 11/11/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by LetMeOut - United States (Texas)

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

#20947922
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40977) - you deserved it (3674)

On 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm - misc - by awkward - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

#20948659
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42748) - you deserved it (3613)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Grandson - United States (California)

Today, I was pouring boiling water into a cup, and I accidentally spilled it all over my hand. My mother responded by slapping me for getting water everywhere. My hand is scorched red, but thanks, I love you too, mother. FML

#20948987
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39618) - you deserved it (3474)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:12pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was at a party with a few of my friends. We saw a guy walking around with bright pink lipstick all over his mouth, so we made a bet to see who could match the lipstick to the girl first. I won. It was my girlfriend's. FML

#20953788
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52089) - you deserved it (3465)

On 11/11/2013 at 10:55am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom when my almost-2-year-old figured out how to open the door and run out. Half-a-dozen strangers watched me scramble to pull up my pants and moon everyone before running after her. FML

#20948920
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38707) - you deserved it (3452)

On 11/07/2013 at 10:23am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, the guy I really like asked me if I'd like to go to a hockey game this weekend. I said I'd love to go, so he said, "Then you'd best get a ticket soon before they sell out." I still don't know if I have a date or not. FML

#20947685
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41132) - you deserved it (3445)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mother not only told me that my ex-husband will be spending Thanksgiving with her and my dad, but that I'm also no longer invited to spend the holiday with my family. FML

#20950805
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44823) - you deserved it (3426)

On 11/08/2013 at 9:54pm - misc - by zoe777 (woman) - United States

Today, I learned I was conceived to the sounds of a Spice Girls album. FML

#20954288
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32689) - you deserved it (3364)

On 11/11/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by queenxalee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend "got even" with me after an argument by telling people that I've been beating her. Three guys later came over to my place and beat the crap out of me. Her reaction: "I didn't think they'd take it so serious!" FML

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39279) - you deserved it (3290)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

#20951750
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56566) - you deserved it (3288)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm - intimacy - by f (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I've invited friends and family to my birthday party. I've also come home to find that my parents didn't pay the water bill. I either have to tell everyone I know that they are uninvited or not to take dumps in my house. FML

#20949952
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36026) - you deserved it (3168)

On 11/08/2013 at 2:49am - misc - by sammyducks227 - United States (Missouri)



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