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Monday 4 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after doing vigorous chores all day with my girlfriend, her mom came and paid us each $100. My girlfriend cried and threw a fit because she said they were her chores, so she deserves all the money. FML

#20952303
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47852) - you deserved it (4290)

On 11/10/2013 at 3:03am - love - by Go away - United States (Iowa)

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

#20948659
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46604) - you deserved it (4267)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Grandson - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a text message consisting solely of emoticons. FML

#20950012
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45150) - you deserved it (4223)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:30am - love - by probablydodgedabullet - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the guy I really like asked me if I'd like to go to a hockey game this weekend. I said I'd love to go, so he said, "Then you'd best get a ticket soon before they sell out." I still don't know if I have a date or not. FML

#20947685
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44080) - you deserved it (4175)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my husband got mad at me for not helping take out the groceries from the car. He yelled that I'm lazy, and that he regrets our marriage. I guess he forgot that the door handle on that side is broken and he had to let me out of the car. FML

#20953907
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45956) - you deserved it (4161)

On 11/11/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by LetMeOut - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in a public restroom when my almost-2-year-old figured out how to open the door and run out. Half-a-dozen strangers watched me scramble to pull up my pants and moon everyone before running after her. FML

#20948920
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43262) - you deserved it (4097)

On 11/07/2013 at 10:23am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML

#20950523
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49936) - you deserved it (4082)

On 11/08/2013 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by JN5SLK (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

#20947922
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44770) - you deserved it (4077)

On 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm - misc - by awkward - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at a party with a few of my friends. We saw a guy walking around with bright pink lipstick all over his mouth, so we made a bet to see who could match the lipstick to the girl first. I won. It was my girlfriend's. FML

#20953788
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55658) - you deserved it (4077)

On 11/11/2013 at 10:55am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I learned I was conceived to the sounds of a Spice Girls album. FML

#20954288
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36720) - you deserved it (4055)

On 11/11/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by queenxalee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43664) - you deserved it (3971)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took my 13 year old fishing off the pier for dogfish. The only thing he caught was a piece of my ear. FML

#20952293
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38866) - you deserved it (3960)

On 11/10/2013 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother not only told me that my ex-husband will be spending Thanksgiving with her and my dad, but that I'm also no longer invited to spend the holiday with my family. FML

#20950805
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47745) - you deserved it (3931)

On 11/08/2013 at 9:54pm - misc - by zoe777 (woman) - United States



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