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Monday 28 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I told my girlfriend I loved her. She left and never came back. FML

#20943458
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52260) - you deserved it (5441)

On 11/03/2013 at 4:57am - love - by Whatswrongwithme? (man) - United Kingdom

Today, for the tenth time, my teacher made a misbehaving student sit next to me as punishment. He begged for detention instead. FML

#20945365
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48997) - you deserved it (5401)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:01pm - misc - by WinkleBottom (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

#20942539
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46785) - you deserved it (5337)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, some kid asked me if I was Mexican. After I explained to him that I was actually Venezuelan, he simply snorted and said, "That's the same f*cking thing. If you speak Spanish then you're Mexican." FML

#20939700
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46890) - you deserved it (5329)

On 10/30/2013 at 10:59pm - misc - by Rinelric1998 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML

#20945397
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51103) - you deserved it (5288)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by :/ (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48636) - you deserved it (5245)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML

#20943386
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67710) - you deserved it (4683)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:21am - love - by StrandedWhale (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I put a picture of my cat on Facebook. A stranger sent me a message saying how "attractive" she was and that her eyes are "very seductive". So, basically, someone is trying to hit on my cat. FML

#20938804
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40760) - you deserved it (4526)

On 10/30/2013 at 3:03am - animals - by meow (woman) - United States

Today, I got my cats a new scratching post. They completely ignored it and tore apart the new felt on my pool table. FML

#20938376
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35391) - you deserved it (4520)

On 10/29/2013 at 8:41pm - animals - by Nish (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I broke my tooth nearly in half. On a completely unrelated note, the Jew's Harp is my new least-favorite instrument. FML

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

#20944161
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39313) - you deserved it (4330)

On 11/03/2013 at 5:27pm - kids - by don'tdrinkthat - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend got a detention for public display of affection. We go to different schools. FML

#20937522
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55869) - you deserved it (4168)

On 10/29/2013 at 12:24am - love - by cmart_9 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

#20937310
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38302) - you deserved it (4116)

On 10/28/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by NickDrakeFan (man) - United States



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