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Monday 21 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML

#20930479
333 comments

Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML

#20936378
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26588) - you deserved it (39369)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:58am - love - by BaconLover - Japan

Today, I saw a wasp on the ground, apparently injured and unable to fly. It was being mobbed by ants and looked certain to die, so I stamped on the ants to save its life. At this point it sprung up, stung me, then flew off. FML

#20932403
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31864) - you deserved it (22831)

On 10/24/2013 at 2:04pm - animals - by MBean (man) - Anguilla

Today, I went to school without any makeup on. The guys who usually compliment me for being pretty are now calling me "The Greatest Illusion Ever". FML

#20936906
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41900) - you deserved it (18508)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by The greatest Illusion ever (woman) - United States

Today, my ex boyfriend got into a physical fight with the guy I've been casually seeing for 9 months. Afterwards, they had a beer, a long chat, and decided this was my fault and I wasn't worth the drama. FML

#20933266
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39710) - you deserved it (17501)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:54am - love - by what did I do? - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a haunted house with the girl I like, thinking that she would get scared and turn to me for comfort. I ended up running out, and was put on the Wall of Shame. FML

#20933080
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31890) - you deserved it (16990)

On 10/25/2013 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my best friend went in for her scheduled mammogram, and I sent her a text saying, "How're your boobies?" It was only after I sent it that I realized I'd sent it to my history professor. FML

#20930198
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35434) - you deserved it (9974)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

#20929399
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28763) - you deserved it (9646)

On 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm - health - by OutOfMyMind (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was cycling home when I saw my sister, who lives a 4 hour drive away, walking past me on the path. I turned my head and called to her, causing me not to notice the pothole in front of me. My front wheel went in and I went over the handlebars. It wasn't even my sister. FML

#20933277
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34161) - you deserved it (9554)

On 10/25/2013 at 8:19am - misc - by karlajjjjj (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

#20933730
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50086) - you deserved it (8585)

On 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Dick the Greater (man) -

Today, the kid next to me asked me, in all seriousness, if gay people have feelings like regular people. I'm gay, and I have to sit next to this barnacle until June. FML

#20929195
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44563) - you deserved it (7571)

On 10/21/2013 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of "how hard he gave it to me last night". FML

#20936372
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46961) - you deserved it (7569)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - intimacy - by snowwhite (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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