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Monday 21 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out through one of my friends that my boyfriend cheated on me. He says it doesn't count as cheating because he couldn't get it up. FML

#20930754
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52760) - you deserved it (4476)

On 10/23/2013 at 3:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the tickets I bought for my favorite band's concert arrived in the mail. The concert was last night. FML

#20935170
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49444) - you deserved it (4453)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:11am - misc - by MsConfusedd (woman) - United States

Today, I learned where my mom's "special hiding spot" that I'll "never find" for the Halloween chocolate is, when I preheated the oven to make cookies. FML

#20928856
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43969) - you deserved it (4452)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML

#20936067
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48779) - you deserved it (4449)

On 10/27/2013 at 8:41pm - love - by failure (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

#20937310
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40999) - you deserved it (4389)

On 10/28/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by NickDrakeFan (man) - United States

Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML

#20934961
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40982) - you deserved it (4349)

On 10/26/2013 at 9:23pm - animals - by Puppy problems - United States (Vermont)

Today, my dad came into my room, looked at my laptop, and said he could hear the porn I was watching all the way from his room. I wasn't watching porn. We soon realised it was actually coming from his mobile phone. FML

#20929016
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57801) - you deserved it (4310)

On 10/21/2013 at 3:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I enjoyed a romantic evening at home with my husband while a babysitter took care of my 5-year-old daughter. After she came home, she told me the sitter let her use her "weird swing." I wasn't too worried, until she said it was indoors, and I realized she was describing a sex swing. FML

#20935603
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41067) - you deserved it (4285)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my professor tried to scare the hiccups out of me. Some pee came out instead. FML

#20937069
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40919) - you deserved it (4105)

On 10/28/2013 at 6:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the kitchen to grab some cereal. I guess my mum didn't hear me, because as I entered, I heard her ranting to herself about her "God damned fucking cheerios". I started to slowly back out, but I tripped over my own feet. She heard and yelled at me for "sneaking around". FML

#20934627
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34453) - you deserved it (4033)

On 10/26/2013 at 2:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML

#20932505
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59230) - you deserved it (3962)

On 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm - misc - by soon to be divorced (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been sleeping around. After telling my best friend, I also found out that he and a few others have known for the past month. He asked, shocked, "Dude, I thought you knew?" FML

#20933837
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46739) - you deserved it (3802)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, when I locked my newly repaired bike up, I carefully took the new rear light off it so that nobody could steal said light. Somebody stole my bike. At least I have a red light to play with. FML

#20936443
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39645) - you deserved it (3785)

On 10/28/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)



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