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Monday 14 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML

#20929509
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39555) - you deserved it (3256)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:24pm - health - by ouch.... (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

#20925128
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68837) - you deserved it (3214)

On 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

#20925456
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38302) - you deserved it (3215)

On 10/18/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by DocBastard, meet DocCunt (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43194) - you deserved it (3187)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boss told me that my attitude to work is awesome and that he'd follow my example of coming in half-an-hour early every day from now on. I relish those 30 minutes as the only time I can get work done without him constantly interrupting me. So much for that. FML

#20919859
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44095) - you deserved it (3000)

On 10/14/2013 at 6:38am - work - by Karansuni (woman) - Germany

Today, my fiancé's best friend, who will be our best man at our wedding, decided to confess his feelings for me and tell me how he's always dreamed of us eloping together. The wedding is going to be awkward. FML

#20921675
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46488) - you deserved it (2972)

On 10/15/2013 at 4:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that my brother is adamant that if he records silence, then listens to said silence at full volume, it'll improve the headphones' noise-blocking abilities. I live with a complete idiot. FML

Today, the family upstairs decided to play basketball. Indoors. At 3am. FML

#20928702
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41869) - you deserved it (2903)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was maced. Not by a person, but rather by one of those automatic air fresheners in the bathroom. It was conveniently placed at eye level, you know, for freshness. FML

#20921961
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39445) - you deserved it (2831)

On 10/15/2013 at 8:38pm - health - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, someone in my 8-floor appartment building got an airhorn. They seem to enjoy using it. I can't work out where they are. FML

#20919926
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36443) - you deserved it (2785)

On 10/14/2013 at 9:10am - misc - by STOPTHENOISE (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was pushed off of a glacier by a very angry tourist. Why? I work as a glacier guide, and apparently some people find it overly frustrating to be informed that there isn't a café on the glacier. FML

#20924969
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46742) - you deserved it (2778)

On 10/18/2013 at 8:40am - work - by Quasimodo (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I was assigned to fill in for a French teacher who was out sick. I had asked the class to name some French-speaking countries. I called on one girl and she replied, "Uh, Europe. That's, like, the only other one, right?" Nobody disagreed. I'm filling in for the rest of the month. FML

#20929522
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42561) - you deserved it (2737)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:40pm - work - by :| - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML

#20924836
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45123) - you deserved it (2725)

On 10/18/2013 at 2:13am - health - by Jan (man) - United States



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